Sitting and waiting and planning for a baby girl halfway around the world is kind of awkward. I mean, I feel so powerless. And confused. There are days when I think, "I want my little girl!" But then I'm quick to realize that she's NOT my little girl. Then I wonder if I'm even doing the right thing, taking a child away from her home country. I envy the travel groups that leave on nearly a weekly basis, all the while wondering how strange it is to be part of a never-ending tide of white people washing in and out of Africa, babies in tow. However, I've read books like, There is no Me Without You, so I know the need is real. Its not just a matter of overbearing Americans taking advantage of a surplus of babies. Adoption may not be the answer, but it is an answer for a developing country struggling to take care of its own. So then I'm back to just waiting.
I'm moving forward in the faith that we will pass our court date, that we will be traveling to Ethiopia sometime in April, and we will be bringing this little girl home. We are working on the nursery, bit by bit. Today I bought two of those unattractive, but necessary, passport/money pouches for when we travel. (I passed on the one I could tuck into my unmentionables. I mean, do they really expect me to reach into my undergarments when I want to buy a Coke at the airport? Or make a pitstop at a bathroom each time I need to get out my passport?) Its not much, but its a small step I can take and feel like we're making progress.
Speaking of progress, we've copied Autumn and Brian , who created a chain of verses to count down to their courtdate. I know at a certain point I'll think that the month is passing quickly, like when our mid-month bills are due, but right now I just need something to show for it.
Our fundraising is essentially complete -- praise God! -- so for the time being we have a "huge" chunk of money sitting in the bank, mocking me because I can't use it on anything until we pass court! (Sure would be nice to have that much for those mid-month bills... ;) ) But I'm trying to stay in the right frame of mind and let it instead be a reminder of God's provision. He's provided the money, He'll see the rest through to completion too.
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." Heb 10:23
I can't wait to wear that ugly little pouch and hold that little girl!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
34 Days and Feeling Random
Posted by Sarah at 4:04 PM
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6 comments:
oooo can't wait to see your 2009 version of the fanny pack! :) did you get neon green? i think neon green would look GREAT on you! hehe
34 days... *sigh*...
oh man, it is as if you wrote my exact feelings/struggles/ponderings. what a weird and wonderful process this all is, isn't it???? let's keep walking thru this all together!!
Hang in there Sarah, she IS yours already and sooon you will be holding her. (oh I can't wait either!) love you!
what colors are you doing her room in??
I can't wait to hold her too!
Sorry about today! I was really looking forward to hanging out with you! (and that coffee sounded sooo good! :)) Rylie asked the dr. if she could still go to the Supermall to play with her friend! :)
We'll have to do it whenever I have wheels again!
I posted pictures if you want to see.
This definitely the hardest part for sure. I don't envy you, except to say that it's worth it. And I'm sure you've heard it before. I would just say it's protracted labor that you have no control over. So strange. Oh and yes thank you, I am also an equal opportunity eater:)
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