Bittersweet

Referrals are coming so fast these days, I can barely keep up. If I've calculated correctly, we are Number 8 on the waiting list now. This is both incredibly exciting and a little terrifying. My husband compared it to having early labor contractions. (Which we've experienced, with our second-born. I had contractions from Week 26 to the very end, tempered only by medication and bedrest.) While we're so very excited to have our little one sooner rather than later, its really rather scary. We feel really unprepared! We've been encouraged all along by the truth that God's timing is perfect, but that was when we felt like things were moving too slowly. Ironic, isn't it?

One of the most pressing issues is of course finances. We've been putting off fundraising endeavors, thinking we had all kinds of time. It was also a nice excuse because hubby and I are both big babies when it comes to asking for help, in whatever form it might be. (ex. Our eldest's school walk-a-thon. I barely got up the courage to ask the grandparents for donations, let alone anyone else!) I enjoy making jewelry and had big dreams of maybe turning a bit of a profit with it for the adoption. I don't think its going to happen. There simply isn't enough time in the day with two little ones, Bible studies, and the usual everyday crises. All is not lost, however, because we do have other ideas, probably to be unveiled in the next month.

The news of so many referrals -- and the corresponding realization that our little girl has likely recently been born -- also brings a twinge of sadness. It is no light thought to consider that such an availability of orphaned children implies a large amount of tragedy. When considering an international adoption, one is often plagued by much criticism about adopting outside one's own country. After all, aren't there children in need of homes in the United States? Certainly. And shouldn't children be left with their own people (ie countrymen) to be cared for? Of course, if it is feasible. When one considers the huge need in a country like Ethiopia, however, one cannot help but realize that there is a sense of crisis there. All these little babies being united with families who are able to meet their needs and love them...there are so many! And where else would they go? Okay, I'm done preaching. I don't know that I've made much sense anyway!

Let me just say that we are SO EXCITED to be a part of this journey. Next week I'll likely be posting about the painful slowness of the process -- next month will mark the third anniversary of our application to adopt -- but tonight is one of those nights when we're barely keeping ourselves from jumping on the beds. (Gotta be a good example, you know!) Number 8 -- YIKES!