Baby Girl Come Home

Alive and...Adjusting

2009-08-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

How beautiful is she?! Our friend Keren took this photo last weekend. I realize I have been quite remiss in blogging these days. Life has been, shall we say, heavy these days, and its hard to trim down into blog form. Just for fun, however, I thought I would post a quote from my son from a week or two ago, followed by a bit of an update:

While watching Bed Knobs and Broomsticks, the kids were particularly taken by the dancing montage from the "Portabello Street" song. This scene features various styles of dance, at one point a group of African-Americans dancing in a swingish sort of style. At this point, Melat began clapping and bopping with the music. When Allan and I commented on this, our eldest (age 6 1/2) chimed in, "Its because they're brown," he said matter-of-factly, "She's not color-blind, you know!"

Indeed.

Said little one is not very little. She's 10 months+ now and weighs a hefty 22 lbs. (90th percentile in weight, 75th in height) Our pediatrician is simply in awe of her and can't fathom how a child from an orphanage has done so well for herself. Last week at her check up he said, "She must have been a favorite!" Truth is, she's a demanding little thing. Oh, she can be cute and cuddly all right, but every three hours on the dot she'd better have her food in hand. Or else.

One of the things that I've been meaning to blog about but haven't is the challenge of adjusting to this strong-willed baby girl. Its been hard not to have happy little stories full of love and bliss to post. Oh, we have grown attached to her and all, but its hard to feel unconditional fondness for a child who spends a good portion of the afternoon shrieking at you. (Like right now, she's screaming like her heart has been broken because I'm not keeping the Cheerios coming fast enough.) Its also hard to write about without sounding like a whiner among throngs of happy adoptive bloggers. Obviously, we didn't expect adopting to be a breeze. In fact, we expected more difficulty than we have. But after the early months of newness and the fawning of strangers and family alike have passed, you're still left with a new child who, out of some inborn desire to survive, thinks not only that the world revolves around her, but that it should do so at the speed she dictates. I told one friend its like having a perpetual colicky newborn...who weighs 20+ lbs and crawls really fast.

The boys are doing well with her. When people ask how they are adjusting to Melat, I tell them that the boys beat up on her now, so they must been accepting her as their little sister.

Really, she has a very sweet disposition -- with everyone but me. She is attached to me, in a master to slave sort of way, and needs to know where I am at all times. Melat loves people -- so very social -- and loves to be outdoors. She loves to swim and swing and steal her brothers' toys. I have a feeling that everything is going to turn out just fine, but for now the adjustment continues.

Bare Ne-sesames

2009-07-28T10:50:00.000-07:00

(In the words of my 4 year-old after watching The Jungle Book.)

I won't lie. This has been a very challenging summer. My husband is still without work and we're unsure of just when things will improve. We've been surviving by the grace of God and the kindness of family and friends...and some creative living. (ex. Paying for our camping trip with literally the leftover change from the adoption!) I have been learning some significant truths in a whole new way.

For example, Matthew 6:25-30, 33-34: "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (ESV)"

I've known this passage since childhood and have relied on it many a time in regards to general anxiety about the future. But, for the first time in my life, thank God, I find myself applying it in a very specific way. As I wander WalMart looking for the best deal on lunch meat -- no more organic here! -- I see the aisles and aisles of school supplies and clothes and I wonder just how we're going to buy those things in the coming month. I praise God for His mercy in the past, for the times when I never had to worry about whether or not we'd have food in the house. And I look to those promises and remind myself that if my treasure is truly laid up in heaven, if I'm seeking His Kingdom, then we're going to be just fine.

------

I apologize for the lack of posts lately. For one thing, our camera has died. This greatly limits the amount of cuteness I can publish. We've also been remarkably busy the past two weeks.

After surviving Allan's business trip, we spent several days just trying to get our home back together again. Allan and I also got to go out alone -- for his birthday -- for the first time since having Melat home.

Speaking of having Melat home, one of the most precious times we've had was the annual picnic last weekend for those in our area who have adopted through our adoption agency. (We borrowed a camera and took a few photos, but they all have other people's children in them and I don't feel comfortable making them public without their parent's permission. You'll just have to trust me that we were swamped with sweet and adorable little ones from Ethiopia and Guatemala!) It was such a blessing and encouragement to be surrounded by other adoptive families, even for just one afternoon. I wish we could do it more often!

Right now I'm still trying to coerce our 4 year-old into using the potty, with very little success. Just this afternoon he had an accident on the couch, while I was rocking Melat to sleep, waking her up with his announcement of said accident. So, I had a wet couch, a wet boy, and a screaming baby. Good times. Not being motivated by any form of reward -- including preschool -- he just plain doesn't care. He also doesn't mind being wet or sitting in his...well, you know...whether in a diaper, a swim-diaper (now that's nasty!) or underwear. I've tried training diapers that make it uncomfortable to be wet -- like being in a wet regular diaper isn't uncomfortable enough! -- and, in my less than stellar moments, reminding him that he is the ONLY 4 year-old we know that still wears baby diapers. Our pediatrician half-jokingly mentioned putting him in pink pull-ups, something my husband seriously considered, but I just don't know how we could afford the therapy bills when he's a teenager. Preschool starts in just over a month and I'm just not sure what to try next. If he weren't so dang indifferent to it all, I'd worry that there might be some sort of physical issue here, but he is literally untroubled by accidents. I'm all for not pushing them if they aren't ready, but at 4?? He will go in the toilet and recognizes when he needs to poop, at least -- though that doesn't mean he won't just go in his diaper or underwear -- but will only pee in the toilet if he's on there for another reason. Any advice??

Argh!

2009-07-17T12:49:00.000-07:00

Melat isn't the only one who's toothless these days!

Spouseless in Seattle

2009-07-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

Well, boo. Hubby left before sunrise for a 4-day conference in Denver. Together with his brother he will be signing sample copies of their book coming out this September. They will also be meeting with publishers regarding a new book series. In the meantime, I'll be having my first go at parenting three kids alone for four days. We're filling our schedule to the brim with grandparent visits, playdates, and whatnot in order to make time fly by that much faster...and keep boredom to a minimum.
Having Hubby gone means less laundry and more of the bed. It also means that I don't have to cook, per se, because my boys would happily subsist on peanut butter and jelly for all eternity and I'm content with a sandwich or salad. See how I'm looking for the positives here?? So, yeah. Talk to me in a couple days and see how positive I'm feeling!

Now where'd I put those Kleenex??

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-08T12:10:00.001-07:00

Back in the High Life Again

2009-07-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

For some strange reason I decided to reactivate my Facebook account today. I took it down over a year ago because...well, to be honest, I'm insecure. I got tired of reading about everyone's social exploits. It sort of felt like being in junior high again, riding the bus and overhearing other girls making plans with each other and then having to hear all about what they did the following morning. When your days are spent keeping siblings from killing each other and appeasing a demanding baby the last thing you want to read about is some event to which you weren't invited. And Facebook just lays it all out right in front of you.

So, given my bad attitude, why did I rejoin? Mostly just to be able to reconnect with old friends. And to stay connected with current friends. So I'll be around...but I'll be keeping it simple.

The Short of It

2009-07-03T10:49:00.001-07:00

Ha! I posted new photos of myself on the blog, then I went and chopped my hair off. Those who have known me a while know that I'm no stranger to short hair. For most of the last 12 years I've had a sort of pixie cut -- in contrast to the first 18 years of my life in which my hair was down to the middle of my back. A year ago I started growing it out, but kids and acne have made it more work than I like, so for that yearly occasion on which I got a year older, I got it cut off again. The gal who cuts my hair talked me out of chopping it all off, though I did have my husband's permission to do so. (He met me when my hair was at its shortest and holds a certain fondness for it at that length.) It is, however, nice and short again. I don't have photos yet -- and I'm not one to take a picture of myself just because -- so those of you in say, Virginia, Maryland, or Wisconsin, will have to wait a bit, but I will try to get something up soon...because I know the status of my hair is your top concern these days!

Your second-most important interest, I'm sure, is my children. Specifically, photos of my children. So let me just satisfy your curiosity with some from our weekend, during which we enjoyed the many outdoor opportunities the great state of Washington has to offer.

On Saturday we got together with my parents and my brother, his wife, and my nephew at a park on the beach, to celebrate that occasion which I alluded to above but shall not mention. Sunday we headed up towards Mt Rainier and spent a few hours playing in the river. (Both of these activities are an hour away, but in opposite directions. Its the best of both worlds, as Hannah would say. And I think its a very good reason for people in Virginia, Maryland, or Wisconsin, for example, to move out here.)

The Beach

My nutty Nugga

This child could live in the ocean, if given the chance.My adorable nephew, CyprianNothing but boysMelat meets the ocean. Well, technically the Puget Sound, but salt water none the less.

The River

Thankfully Melat loves the out-of-doors!My Handsome HubbyI'm happy as long as I have something to chew on! (No teeth yet!)One of my little dam builders, pausing to pose.Crocs are the BEST kid shoe ever!A lovely view!

Catch-up

2009-06-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

Regardless of circumstances described in the prior post, life does indeed go on, so I thought I should bring everyone up to date on the fun things we've done and how things stand in other areas.

Our big boy, Toby, finished out his kindergarten year last Friday. His report card and IEP update are simply amazing. He has made so much progress, especially socially. Back in September we really didn't know what to expect, particularly when things started out a little bumpy with the person in charge of his IEP and special services. It was a constant joy to see him blossom, make friends, and be so excited about what he did in school each day.

Our now middle child, Henry, is having a pretty rough time. He is four and thus frustrated with life in general, but now he's had to give up his baby position AND have big brother home from school each day. Alas, big brother takes the brunt of much of his anger, which big brother doesn't know how to cope with appropriately. Things get pretty ugly around here most days. Henry is one angry little man. We have since established some set alone time with each child and lots of space between the two boys. We are also trying to potty train...still. Its not going well. He is stubborn and sensitive and not at all motivated. Gotta love the little guy though!

And, of course, the Princess Herself. She has kept us busy with all of her busyness. You know, growing, eating, scooting around the floor -- backwards! -- occasionally napping, eating, getting her ears pierced, eating, throwing tantrums because she's not eating, eating, pooping, eating, almost sleeping through the night, eating, and generally being a happy baby. She has a bit of a mommy obsession, but that's not necessarily all bad...except when mommy needs to cook dinner.

Finally, I know the most important part of an update is pictures, so here are some from our Father's Day visit to the zoo:

He Gives and Takes Away

2009-06-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

When you're self-employed there are many months when you don't know where your income will come from. For the last year or so, due to changing contracts, we have known that we would probably be reaching the point where we had no income. Literally, no income. There were a few possibilities that were potentially available to tide us over until other work could be found, but as of today those have pretty much been ruled out. Another characteristic of barely scraping by each month is that its nearly impossible to maintain a savings account. What money is saved goes quickly when the van needs new tires, or someone visits the ER. (And then the Lord calls you to adopt....)

So, here we are. We will get our last known paycheck this week and then its up to the Lord. Not only will we not have the means to pay our mortgage or other bills next month, but the business will likely not have enough money to pay such things as our health insurance and the cell phone bill upon which our family relies. (We have no land line.) When you're self-employed you aren't eligible for unemployment. Our state has stopped accepting applications for state health insurance. Things are looking pretty bleak.

I am well aware that the Lord could have made all those pending pieces fall into place, but He chose not to. So, I have to believe that He will provide an alternative. Even if it involves watching the demise of our credit record and the possible foreclosure of our home, I guess He has more important things in store for us. He has carried us thus far.

Please pray for our family and that of my brother and sister-in-law, that we will be wise and seek the Lord -- and of course, that the Lord will provide work for my husband and his brother.

He gives and takes away. My heart will choose to say, "Blessed be the Name of the Lord."

The Condensed Version

2009-06-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

I am working on merging our family site and our adoption site into one. By "working on", I mean that every several days I sit down at the computer and log in, only to be pulled away by some other pressing issue (read: child). I thought it would be fun to make a little project out of it and design it myself. Well, its slow going. I should have just hired somebody to do it (or had my husband do it -- which would have taken like 30 seconds) but now I refuse to give up.

This whole endeavor is an excellent example of just how much time I have right now to even post on a blog, but I have determined to keep something going, mostly for the sake of extended family and as a means of keeping in touch with other church/adoptive families. (To you AGCI folk: Ya'll don't abandon me now!) Its not like I have impressive wisdom I need to impart or that I think I have that interesting of a life.

Anyway, the family blog is coming soon...hopefully by this weekend. I will try to at least get some photos up in the meantime.

Looking for Advice

2009-05-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

My little beauty hides a dirty little secret. With nearly every bowel movement we have a blowout. Usually up the back. And its not necessary diarrhea. It just always shoots up that way. Sometimes up the back AND the front. I'm changing her and washing her clothes constantly. We have a spare car seat cover that I've had to change frequently too. I've had two boys -- one of whom had serious digestive issues -- but I've never encountered this before. Sure, we had our share of blowouts -- always at the most inopportune times, as blowouts by definition tend to be -- but this is different. And very frustrating. And more than a little disgusting.

Anyway, its not the poop itself that frustrates me. Its that the poop is everywhere, all the time. So I wondered, is this more common with girls or something? I mean, things are a little different down there. Or is it related to her, um, chunkiness? Or does she just have uncommonly, shall we say, strong, um, movements? I don't know. But since she's not going to be potty trained...or even having more solid movements, for some time now, I'm wondering if anyone has found anything that works to contain said movements. We nearly always layer in a onesie because that at least keeps it in her clothes (EW!) and not on the person holding her, per se. But that requires peeling off a poopy onesie every time (again EW!). We've tried fastening her diaper (disposable) in different ways and even different kinds of diapers, but its always the same. Diaper covers (like the kind that come with dresses) and shorts/pants with wide elastic waistbands don't help.

So, anyone have any creative ideas? We would ALL be so grateful!

(And, yes, I just finished changing one. And changing the car seat. Again. Hence this post.)

A Swingin' Good Time

2009-05-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

Its Just Not Right

2009-05-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

...to have a social worker come visit your home when you just brought home a baby a month ago!

I mean, seriously. But adoption requires post-placement visits/reports, the first being 3 months after you take custody...then at 6 months, then at a year, then each year until the child turns 18. The hitch the first time around is that a social worker visit is required and the paperwork is due to the agency at 2 months, so it can reach Ethiopia by the 3 month due date. Hence, the social worker visit TODAY. Did I mention that we'll only have three hours advance notice of her arrival?? Yikes.

Not that I'm worried. Its just that our month-long adjustment period had kind of left our house (and yard) in a not-so-cleanly state. But after several long hours -- put in mostly by my wonderful hubby -- he's THE MAN! -- the house may actually be presentable. Now its my job to keep it that way until she shows up. No easy task, people!

If our house has been in a sorry state, the blog has really fallen behind. You'll notice I did finally take down our countdown ticker and update my ever-so-brief profile. Like many blog slackers, I've composed a number of great postings in my head at night, between feedings...but they never come to fruition once daylight hits and the chaos/children takes/take over.

Melat continues to be a happy little trooper -- even despite an ear infection and an antibiotic-requiring diaper rash. Its sort of an extended family joke that you can only tell when she's sad by looking at her face. If you see tears, she's sad, otherwise you'd never know because she just sort of whimpers when she's upset. We know she's hungry when she thrashes around and smacks her lips. We know she's tired when she smears her face on our shoulder. Other than that she loves to smile, roll around, and watch the exciting world that is our family.

We were able to have her dedicated -- along with like a dozen or more babies -- at our mass-baby-producing church on Mother's Day. She still loves to be vocal and so felt the need to try to out-speak our pastor. What a nut. Actually, she tries to do that every Sunday, so we spend a lot of time in the church lobby.

The following week was our second son's 4th birthday -- and Melat's sort of "coming out" to much of our extended family. We love how attached she has become to us...she will go to others, but Mommy and Daddy always have to be in her line of sight. That's a good thing! She had a blast interacting with all her cousins and other family members.

I'm sure there is a lot more to report, but that's going to have to do for now. We're coping well, but still working on controlled chaos as opposed to just chaos. I know I still have to post travel photos, but that's a process that requires much thinking, so its still going to have to wait. I miss all my travelling buddies...is a three month reunion a little too soon??

Love is in the House

2009-05-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

So far the question we are asked most is how our little one is adjusting. The answer? She's doing very well. She's a happy chunk of a thing -- pretty content to roll with whatever we've got going on. We're trying to keep things mellow for her, but our life is a little too crazy for that. Plus Mama gets a little stir crazy sometimes. We've walked the mall a few times, hit the playground in the stroller, and made our debut at church, among other things. We've also started rice cereal, which she loves but hasn't figured out how to swallow yet. Its a work in progress!

The rest of us? Well, we're getting there. The biggest issue isn't surprising: sleep. She still wakes 2 or 3 times a night for a bottle and will only nap for short periods of time...in a crowded room. If its too quiet, she can't sleep. We have her in our room, with a nightlight, which is an adjustment in and of itself for us. Our boys spoiled us by sleeping in their own room fairly early on, and were definitely sleeping through the night by this age. Its tough to go to sleep at 9, wake up at 7, and have only gotten 5 or 6 hours of sleep.

The boys are doing fairly well. The eldest was pretty wild our first week back -- his way of coping with change -- then he got sick. Our youngest is being a royal stinker...but he was starting that before we left. He has a will of steal...and he's not afraid to use it!

Really, though, things are going so much better than I hoped. I had really prepared myself for a very difficult time -- you know, worst case scenario -- but we're actually doing okay. I have no doubt that its the prayers of so many people that makes the difference. It was really tough with all the travel and sickness and preparations to miss church as much as we did -- I came back desparate for some quiet time with my Bible.

If nothing else, we are just soo glad to be back. We are being spoiled with meals and prayers and love -- and a baby shower next Wednesday!

I promise to post more about our trip the next time I have a spare moment, which translates to lots of pictures!

First Bath with Mom and Dad

2009-04-28T15:53:00.001-07:00

Meeting Melat

2009-04-27T20:16:00.001-07:00

Home

2009-04-24T23:40:00.000-07:00

We are home at last, though not at the time we had intended. We had to take a later flight from Washington DC, since I spent most of the flight from Ethiopia either doubled over in my seat or in the bathroom, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I have never been so glad to be home. After some time of adjusting to the jet lag, mixed up sleep schedules, and general family regrouping, we'll be sure to post more.

Truly, All God's Children...

2009-04-21T23:47:00.001-07:00

Allan writing again: "I am Kansas!", "I am Ohio!", the older boys said
excitedly. "Kansas!" a younger boy added taking the arm of the older
"Kansas"; they nodded when I identified them as brothers. These were,
of course, not their names they were sharing, but they were every bit
their identification as they waited expectantly for the day their
families would come and take them to America as we were for our Melat.
Still, there was something important they wanted to tell me. Pressing
their hands in front of them and bowing their heads, they gathered
around a boy who I knew was named Dave (one of the only names I can
remember!) Through our simple words and gestures, I understood what
they were communicating: Dave was still waiting to be matched to a
family; he was not a "Kansas", "Ohio", or any other of the 48 states
yet. This was how my day visiting Hannah's Hope ended yesterday
(Tuesday). Sarah and I had been able to wake up with Melat cradled in
her Moses-basket next to us. After bottle, bath, showers and breakfast,
we had headed back to her transition home to let her nap there while we
made our one and only trip out to shopping. It was hard for each parent
in our group to leave our children behind, even if only for a few hours,
but not so hard when you see first-hand how loved they are with their
'special mothers'. The best part of the day was coming back to reunite -
Melat still remembered us :) As she sat happily in momma's arms and
watched, I got to play with the other kids in the courtyard. They were
so much fun! Playing catch with balls, posing for endless photo shoots,
racing hotwheels, fixing dislocated axles on said hotwheels, and, of
course, soccer. The older boys relished the chance to kick a new, neon
yellow soccer ball around the court (purchased by one of our group).
Apparently, getting a funny looking adult like me to play with them was
a treat. It took about five minutes for them to finally communicate the
idea of playing 'keep-away', but we finally got on the same page and
had a great time...even though, when I missed, they insisted that I not
have to be "it" - "Ish, ish."(it's okay) they would say as they tapped
their chest and graciously insisted on taking my spot instead. One of
our best memories of this time at Hannah's Hope was when Tim and Dawn
pulled out cardboard Spiderman masks to fold and wear. Every boy, young
and old alike, swarmed them and soon the yard was full of web-flinging
superheroes! We'll share pictures of that when we can. I only wish it
was easier to visit these precious children than living on seperate
sides of the world will allow. It is a joyous place that truly fills
you heart. Today is a slower day that will be spent mostly around the
hotel with an afternoon trip back to Hannah's Hope. Tonight will be a
special trip to a traditional Ethiopian restaurant with music and
dancing... I'll volunteer Sarah to do the shoulder dancing if they ask
for audience participation, or maybe she can do the insanely fast head
shake/twirl. We'll be sure to bring back video of this. One more
thing... During the morning hours, the families from our group whose
children have biological family-members to meet with will be taking
turns embracing that poigniant moment. Even though many of you will
read this after these meetings take place, please pray for the families
on both sides - those giving and those recieving the care of the
child(ren). It is a special, but understandibly heavy moment. Thanks
for your continued prayers through all of this. In Christ's Love,
Allan, Sarah and Melat.

Love At First Snuggle!

2009-04-20T15:29:00.001-07:00

Greetings from Addis Ababa! (This is Allan writing)

It is now 1:10AM, Tuesday the 22nd. It's been just a little over 24
hours since Sarah and I got settled in our hotel (it was a looooooong
flight and the 2 hour wait to get our Visa at the airport only made
longer), BUT!... Today Sarah and I made the long awaited walk from our
hotel over to Hannah's Hope, (Melat's transition home), and tonight she
is snuggled with us in our own bed! What a day!

She is that much more beautiful than we knew from her photos, and
extremely cuddly (with a capital 'C')! It has been love at first
snuggle and she has taken well to it all (Remarkably, she has not cried
once - that will probably change, but it's been so sweet for now) Today
was packed with our morning meeting, a bouncy, wild ride through the
streets of Addis to the US Embassy to obtain Melat's Visa. We were able
to get a few smiles from her along the way, but, oh my goodness, as soon
as we got to the quiet of our hotel lobby, she had all sorts of things
to say! What a happy little baby. It is so good to see how well she has
been cared for. In fact, the US Embassy worker processing most of our
group remarked how well-adjusted all the babies were. The only real
trouble we have had has been with taking turns holding her... (ok, so
it's really only my problem)

I should probably sneek back up to bed now, but I'm glad we could get
finally find a time when the computer and dial-up decided to cooperate
so we could let you all know how well we are doing. Pass the good word
along.

Thank you for your prayers! Our God is good.

With Love, Allan and Sarah (and Melat, too!)

Oh boy!

2009-04-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

Well, 12 hours from now we'll be leaving for the airport. I am ready to go!

Sort of.

The boys are running around right now undoing all my hard work -- pulling things out of suitcases, strewing toys down the halls. I think there may just be some divine intervention at work here -- you know, when the kids are driving me crazy its makes the separation anxiety that much easier. Its the Lord's way of motivating me out that door. I love the little darlings to pieces, but right now 30 hours on an airplane isn't sounding so bad!

Once we have them safely ensconced at grandma's, we'll pick up the last of the mess and FINALLY zip up those bags.

You know the Robert Frost line, "miles to go before I sleep"? Yep. Still much to be done.

Please pray for all of us, for traveling mercies for Allan and I, patience for the grandparents, and comfort for the boys.

When next we post (hopefully) it will at least be out of state!

And soon we'll be saying... "Oh, girl!"

Mobile Picture Post?

2009-04-16T22:18:00.001-07:00

One more test... does this mobile test also post an attached picture? We
shall see!

Mobile Systems Check... 1-2-3

2009-04-16T22:16:00.001-07:00

In preparation of our trip to Ethiopia, we're testing a new option of
posting to our blog via email. This will allow us to (hopefully) send
the occassional update from the in-country dial-up option while we're
there. So, if you are reading this post then (Hurrah!) we've
successfully posted by email!

For any one else traveling, your Blogger.com site can easily be
configured to do this too. Just look under "Settings > Email" tab and
set a "Email Posting Address"... or ask me how.

Bad Timing Update

2009-04-14T20:12:00.001-07:00

Praise the Lord -- we were miraculously reinstated for our insurance coverage!

This also means that the last three months, when we supposedly weren't covered -- and had at least one or more doctor visits and multiple prescriptions filled, as it is cold season -- are also covered. This is miraculous because we were told repeatedly that the reason they cancelled us was "company policy" and could not be changed. Our advocate happened to be traveling to company headquarters in another state today and was able to move this mountain on our behalf...or rather, God was able to use her to move this mountain! Our plan representative also took up the cause and wrote a letter to the company. I feel so blessed to be aided by customer service people who actually took the time to serve their customers!

We knew it was a long shot, but our God is a God of long shots!

Plumpin'! *

2009-04-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

Wahoo! We just -- and by "just" I mean in the last 5 minutes -- got an update, with photos, from one of the AGCI case workers who just returned from Ethiopia. And let me just say, my day is SOO much better now. I mean, how can one be blue in the presence of such CUTENESS?! She is just beautiful! And, apparently, quite the eater! She's got some mighty cute rolls going on.

Oh man, I cannot wait to hold her!

*If you've seen Madagascar 2, you know what I mean!

Bad Timing

2009-04-13T15:33:00.000-07:00

Friday my husband called our insurance company to look into adding our daughter...only to be told that they never received our last payment and that we were cancelled three months ago. Somehow they neglected to tell us that little bit of info back when it happened. Our payment has vanished and so far they are refusing to reinstate our policy, despite the fact that we are willing to drive a payment to them. Nice.

Today we went to our immunization appointment to get our second round of hep shots...only to be told that they made our appointment one day too early (based upon when we got our last round...a certain amount of time has to pass before the next round) and that there are no more appointments this week.

Did I mention that we're leaving for Ethiopia in 5 days?? Yep. We have no health insurance and are only partially vaccinated. How's that for comforting?

We did get an exceptionally kind representative at the insurance co. who is advocating for our case to get us reinstated. In the meantime, we are reapplying -- which is what we're been told is our only option -- but that would mean we won't be covered for another month. We're also going to be buying an interim insurance plan to cover that gap. Its not cheap, but its cheaper than what our medical bills would be without insurance. We also have travel insurance, which would help in certain instances. Judging by our luck, we'll probably need it!

As for the vaccinations, well, we can call early Friday morning -- the day before we leave -- and see if there are any cancellations. We would have to go into downtown Seattle to the travel clinic however, which would require paying for parking AND probably paying double what we would have paid at the regular clinic for the shots. Oh, and hubby would have to miss more work.

Combine all this with the craziness of regular life these days and I'm almost to the point of laughing. Almost. Please pray for us. There is still much to be done.

At Long Last...Nursery Pictures

2009-04-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

These are from a collection of alphabet cards. They spell her name.

Its difficult to tell in photographs, but the walls are pale lavender, with darker lavender crown molding. The ceiling is a pale robin's egg blue.

The furniture is from IKEA.

I think we used a changing table for 2 or 3 months with our first son. From that point on, we just found ourselves changing him on the floor or the bed or whatever. Never used one with our second son and, given the pace of life now, didn't even bother this time around either!

The bedding is pale lavender with gingham.

A well-used (and loved) crib. The flower lamp is from IKEA, picked out by the boys. The amoire was mine as a little girl, and will now belong to our little girl!

In 9 days we'll have the baby to go with it!

Its a Baby, in a Baby, in a Baby

2009-04-09T09:40:00.000-07:00

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-madonna-and-angelina-jolie/1081317/

Yo, Grandma Grandma

2009-04-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

Its takes a special person to take on these fellas while Mommy and Daddy fly to Africa!

Never Boring

2009-04-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

In true chaotic fashion, we received official confirmation of our travel dates last Friday! (The news caught me between the pediatrician's office, picking up antibiotics, and packing to go out of town for the weekend. I was also trying to post regarding receiving our news about court, but hey, now that's old news! Let's just say I was jumping up and down at my son's bus stop and that he was mortified.)

We will be leaving the morning of April 18th, flying cross-country to Dulles airport, then, after a short layover, we will be flying on to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We'll arrive in Addis Sunday evening in time to grab a bite to eat and go to bed. Bright and early Monday morning, we'll get to meet our little girl!

The next few days in Ethiopia will be filled with our appt at the US Embassy, where we will get our little one's travel visa and passport, a short shopping trip, and a cultural dinner on Wednesday night. Thursday we'll pack to fly home later that evening. We arrive back in Seattle on Friday afternoon. Phew. It truly is a whirlwind trip.

Around here, the hurricane of activity to prepare for the trip is getting off to a difficult start. This week just happens to be Spring Break, which means this Mama ain't getting much of anything accomplished! Both boys are battling colds and Daddy has to work around the clock -- literally -- to make up for the time he will be needing to take off. Our color-coded to-do list has never looked so daunting. However, when I get the moment to sit, exhale, and rub my temples a bit -- usually behind a locked bathroom door, mind you -- I think that should it come down to throwing my toothbrush, deodorant, and soap in a backpack, along with a heap of formula, we will manage.

And now, because I know its much more entertaining than hearing me moan about my to-do list, some photos from our weekend outting. We went out to my husband's grandparent's home in Ocean Shores -- a 2 1/2 hour drive. We hadn't seen them for a while and greatly needed the time away with the boys. Miracle of miracles, the sun even shone for few days! Nothing like a trip to a Washington beach in spring...it was a balmy 65 degrees.

Yes, that's me in those big rubber boots. I got them in college when I was studying marine biology and needed to muck around in the surf. I was wearing those things before it was cool, people! Hubby finally got himself a pair this year. He's been jealous of my boots since the first time he saw them.

No Foolin'

2009-04-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

We got the call this morning -- we passed court! We're not sure when we're traveling yet, but odds are it will be the weekend of the 17th-19th. Our caseworker thought we would know for certain by Friday or next Monday.

Praise the Lord!

Melat Joelle Miller is officially ours!!!

And Then There Were None

2009-03-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

This is it. The final countdown. (Cue 80s music.) There are no more days left. Only hours. During the middle of the night (our time) they will be meeting in Ethiopia to decide whether or not Baby M will be Baby MJM. (If they decide in our favor, I can tell you what those initials stand for! Oh, and we'll get to bring her home. But some people have been so anxious to hear her name, I know they'll be excited for that news alone!) There are three other families (that we know of) from our agency who will be having their cases heard, as well. We're really hoping to hear by the end of the week. Oddly enough, the longer it takes to hear, the more likely it is that you passed. Usually when you don't pass, they know right away. This may be the wait that finally does me in!

The nursery is nearly finished. We're hoping to get the remainder done by the weekend. Essentially we just need to finish off the molding and put the crib together. If all goes as hoped, we can post pictures when we post our GOOD NEWS!

Would you please remember us -- and the other families -- in your prayers? Besides the obvious desire to pass our hearings, we all need peace while we wait. Again!

Did you notice our countdown ticker above? Its been counting down since we were first placed on the waiting list. It has essentially been nine months. Like a pregnancy. Like the longest pregnancy ever. Its time for this baby to come home!!

6 Days until Court!

2009-03-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

This time next week our court hearing will have already happened. I simply can't believe we're this close. I don't know what I expected...like time would stand still in some sort of limbo forever or something. Its just hard to fathom that next month we'll have our baby!

Speaking of which, rumor has it that should we pass court next week, there is a possibility that we could travel as early as April 12th! It will likely be the 19th...but it just depends when our embassy appointment in Ethiopia is scheduled. (That's how travel is decided. After the courts decide that a certain child is officially your child, an appointment is set with the US Embassy in Ethiopia to get visa/passport approval for that child. These appointments are almost always on a Monday, so families travel over the weekend prior to get there for the appointment that Monday.)

As travelling soon has become more of a reality, we are starting to collect donations for Hannah's Hope, the orphanage caring for our little girl in Ethiopia. Last Thursday I received a surprise call from the Widow's Ministry at our church. I was told they needed a project to take on, and that they would like to collect donations for the orphanage. So cool! I may be biased, but I personally believe we have the neatest group of widows in the WHOLE WORLD. Really. I love them. But for all you non-widows out there who have asked about donations, here is a list of what the orphanage needs (both for the children and for the workers):

Items needed the most are:
- diapers (all sizes)
- wipes
- 4 oz avent bottles
- lids and nipples
- bouncy seats

Other items needed:
- bibs
- hand sanitizer
- kleenex boxes
- infant & children's vitamins
- formula
- diaper rash cream
- baby shampoos & baby oil
- blow up balls/outside toys
- sidewalk chalk
- bubbles
- children's dvds & cds
- men & women's deodorant
- good quality electric shaver

Clothing:
-scrubs (for the special mothers who take care of the children)
-baby clothing
-infant - 8 mos
-light jackets or sweaters for all ages
-boys clothing for ages 6-10 yrs old
-girls clothing for ages 6-13 yrs old
-underwear for all ages
-shoes for all ages - crocs are great

Used items are fine as long as they are in very good shape. If you attend our church, I believe there will be tubs set out to collect donations. Or you can just pass them on to us at any time.

So many of you have done so much already -- we really appreciate it! I'm not asking you to do more...unless you really want to! Today I used some money from our garage sale to shop for bulk toothbrushes, deodorant, and soap at Costco. I can't wait to take it with us when we travel...soon!

What I Learned Today

2009-03-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

Its not very often that I listen to a popular contemporary speaker and think that what they are saying speaks to me. I guess I'm somewhat of a skeptic, or maybe I just think that my life is too complicated for anyone to really relate. Anyway, the women's Bible study at our church has been working through Beth Moore's study on the book of Esther. It has been fantastic. And a bit ironic. On more than one occasion she has made a point that really, truly was both applicable and appropriate for the portion of the path I'm walking with God these days. (By appropriate, I mean that it actually honors God as the God I know Him to be, instead of molding Him into something that fits into my life. Does that make sense?)

The first time was when she spoke of our tendency to freak out when God calls us to tackle something truly difficult, because usually we don't think He has very good timing. In other words, we say to God, "How can I possibly do THAT?! Don't you see what my life is like right now?!" That has pretty much been the underlying feeling in my heart regarding our adoption since we received our son's autism diagnosis. Being moved to adopt was a big enough stretch for me, but then we were thrown that curve ball. We struggled with whether or not to continue and did eventually put things on hold for a short while. However, we knew we'd be back on board -- and that really scared me. These days, while I wait and wait -- ironically encouraging myself with the knowledge that we WILL eventually hold our little girl -- I keep going back to that thought..."How can you possibly ask me to take all this on, Lord?"

Our session last week was about trusting God enough to know that if and when the things we fear most happen, God will be God. He will not let us be destroyed and will, in fact, redeem us to glory with Him no matter what.

Today, the topic was timing...and waiting. The idea of God's timing being the perfect timing, etc is, of course, not a new one to me -- especially at "such a time as this", so to speak. (A little Esther quote there!) What really threw me was what Beth said when she closed the session. She read the well-known verse: "...but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31) She pointed out the difference between waiting for something (an occasion, a promotion, a baby, etc.) and waiting for the Lord. When is one's strength renewed? When one waits for the Lord -- for His timing, for His purposes, for His plan fulfilled in His will.

When I think about it now, it seems pretty obvious, like something I've known all along. But I sure appreciated the reminder today.

*******

Speaking of waiting, my darling hubby has left on a business trip and we three are left behind waiting for his return. (I have an alarm -- with a key fob! -- and I know how to use it!) Hubby is an author and illustrator -- among other things! -- and is speaking with his brother and fellow author at the Christian Book Expo in Dallas. I definitely don't give him enough props for all the hard work he does, so here's a link to their blog.

In his absence, he left the boys with a pictorial chart so they can determine just when he will be home. Our days are now, courtesy of my three year-old, known as "Armadillo", "Lizard", etc. As in, "Are we going to Grandma's on 'Lizard' or 'Cactus'?" The photo doesn't do it justice.

You will note that I am now able to upload photos again. This isn't because we found our cord. Seems we'll have to order a new one directly from Kodak. No, we had to shell out money for a card reader so we could empty our memory cards onto our computer and thereby, in the meantime, be able to use our camera again. (We also have to remove the camera battery to charge it on a battery charger. Blah! So much work!) Nursery photos will be forthcoming, I promise. We just have a few more things to do in there before the big "reveal". In the meantime, enjoy a few "before" photos -- one which we took for our dossier (in which we shoved all the junk out of the line of sight for the photo and angled it so the room looked clean and nice -- shh! don't tell!) and the other of aforementioned Hubby applying the primer over the ugly brown with which the prior owners had covered the walls AND ceiling. Some browns are nice...others are not. Oh, and I threw in a picture of me looking oh-so-cute in my grubbies putting together furniture.

Time Flies -- But I Don't

2009-03-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

Today, I delivered my in-laws to the airport. Leaving them at the departure curb, I wished it were time for hubby and I to fly to Ethiopia. Fly? Did I really think that? I can't wait to fly? Either I am: a) growing up, b) in denial, or c) really motivated. If you've seen her picture, you understand. I can't tell you how cool it is, when people ask how soon we get to bring M home, to reply, "Oh, hopefully next month." Next month! 19 days until our court hearing....

We've been keeping ourselves busy. Sunday, my mom and I had the kind of shopping spree one can only have when one is shopping for a little girl. I mean, baby boy clothes are cute...but have you seen baby girl clothes? Oh. My. Goodness. I would share photos, but our camera-to-computer cord vanished in our garage sale. Along with our camera case. Hmm. Hopefully we'll figure something out soon because...

We're finally making progress on the nursery! The bedding arrived and we'll be painting this weekend. Then we can assemble the furniture. After that all we'll need is a little girl baby. (I'm still waiting on other certain mommies -- ahem, Dawn -- to show and tell! Hint hint!)

Next Tuesday we visit the Travel Clinic -- duh, duh, duhduh -- where we will get to shell out big bucks for the privilege of being poked with at least two big needles on syringes filled with wimpy versions of nasty illnesses. That sounds almost as fun as flying.

The things we do for our children!

Cheerio!

2009-03-06T09:34:00.000-08:00

You know you're losing it when you open the refrigerator and discover a half-eaten bowl of cereal -- complete with spoon -- inside.

And then you realize that it is yours.

And you're just now noticing it over nine hours later when you're making dinner.

Yeah. I'm losing it.

Four Months Old

2009-03-02T13:16:00.000-08:00

And I missed it.

March will be the longest month ever.

Gotta love Coinstar

2009-02-28T21:40:00.000-08:00

Today we hauled our crazy family to Walmart to make use of the Coinstar machine. We had amassed a whole lot of change through garage sales and the gathering of change in prior years (that's the beauty of having an adoption process drag on for three years), and also through the change drive we held at our church these past couple months. Now, Coinstar charges 9% on each dollar counted, which is a little steep when you're trying to raise money and every penny matters. We had hoped to avoid Coinstar, but as it turns out, banks these days simply don't work with large quantities of change or won't do so without charging you for it, so the folks who invented Coinstar have themselves a nice corner on the turn-your-change-into-usable-money market. And we had ourselves over 1000 quarters, 1000 dimes, 700 nickels, 6000 pennies, and one half-dollar for good measure. What's a busy family to do? Well, we certainly weren't going to roll it all ourselves. So, we spent a good half hour feeding that greedy little machine all that change, never mind the horrendous clamor it made and the audience that sometimes gathered. And what did we have to show for it? Why, $467.76. Not too shabby!

Oh, and I got my Sleepy Wrap in the mail today! Its like a Moby Wrap, but a lighter weight material...and cheaper. I wore it around the house for a good half-hour...sadly empty, of course. (Though I was tempted to try it with the cat...the snuggly one, not the evil one.) It was a sort of boost in the right direction for the 31 days ahead. Ack! 31 days!

34 Days and Feeling Random

2009-02-25T16:04:00.000-08:00

Sitting and waiting and planning for a baby girl halfway around the world is kind of awkward. I mean, I feel so powerless. And confused. There are days when I think, "I want my little girl!" But then I'm quick to realize that she's NOT my little girl. Then I wonder if I'm even doing the right thing, taking a child away from her home country. I envy the travel groups that leave on nearly a weekly basis, all the while wondering how strange it is to be part of a never-ending tide of white people washing in and out of Africa, babies in tow. However, I've read books like, There is no Me Without You, so I know the need is real. Its not just a matter of overbearing Americans taking advantage of a surplus of babies. Adoption may not be the answer, but it is an answer for a developing country struggling to take care of its own. So then I'm back to just waiting.

I'm moving forward in the faith that we will pass our court date, that we will be traveling to Ethiopia sometime in April, and we will be bringing this little girl home. We are working on the nursery, bit by bit. Today I bought two of those unattractive, but necessary, passport/money pouches for when we travel. (I passed on the one I could tuck into my unmentionables. I mean, do they really expect me to reach into my undergarments when I want to buy a Coke at the airport? Or make a pitstop at a bathroom each time I need to get out my passport?) Its not much, but its a small step I can take and feel like we're making progress.

Speaking of progress, we've copied Autumn and Brian , who created a chain of verses to count down to their courtdate. I know at a certain point I'll think that the month is passing quickly, like when our mid-month bills are due, but right now I just need something to show for it.

Our fundraising is essentially complete -- praise God! -- so for the time being we have a "huge" chunk of money sitting in the bank, mocking me because I can't use it on anything until we pass court! (Sure would be nice to have that much for those mid-month bills... ;) ) But I'm trying to stay in the right frame of mind and let it instead be a reminder of God's provision. He's provided the money, He'll see the rest through to completion too.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." Heb 10:23

I can't wait to wear that ugly little pouch and hold that little girl!

Good Medicine

2009-02-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

The last week has been a blur of cold and flu medicines. Tuesday night and Wednesday it was Tylenol for the body aches and fever. Thursday added a decongestant to the mix. By Friday, the decongestant had caused me to, well, decongest, so that called for something to curb a runny nose and make me sleep. Nyquil took care of Saturday and Sunday. Just as Sunday morning seemed to finally bring relief, the youngest woke up with a 102 degree fever.

The last several days have not been without blessings, however. I couldn't sleep Thursday night, so I decided to check my email. What a surprise it was to find an email from Autumn, who had traveled the week before to be united with her son. She wrote to say that she saw our little girl while in Ethiopia and proceeded to tell us all about that experience. She said that our little M is looking happy and healthy, and that she (Autumn) gave M our love. Thank you so much, Autumn! It made our week!

The weekend was spent doing our best to help out my wonderful mother-in-law, who had put together a huge garage sale to raise money for our travel expenses. Many family and friends donated stuff to sell, we threw in all our BOY stuff that we certainly won't need anymore, and the Lord sent dry weather for nearly the whole weekend. Not only did we sell off a whole lot of stuff, we met a lot of interesting people (including a man from Somalia, a man from Yemen, and a family from Kenya), AND we made nearly $1600! Praise God!

We also received a few other donations from friends -- thank you so much, everyone! I can't describe how much it means to us...all the kindness and prayers. It will be such a special thing to tell our little girl how many people were involved in bringing her home.

Many families had their court dates last week -- and passed the first time through! This is very encouraging news. Only 43 days until its our turn!

To Ethiopia with Love

2009-02-08T20:13:00.000-08:00

These two handsome fellows...

Plus these two crazy people...

Wish they were traveling with this bundle of love...

To our baby girl in Ethiopia!

Yes, we finally were able to take the pictures to go in the album to be sent (along with a loved-up lovie) to our little one. I think they're our best pictures ever. Seriously. She's going to be shocked when she finally meets us!

And Again We Wait

2009-02-06T14:37:00.000-08:00

The good news: We learned our court date today!

The bad news: Its not until March 31st.

If we pass court the first time through, this means we will travel some time in April. The longer wait for court could bring with it the benefit of the Ethiopian officials having more time to get all the neccessary papers in order, which would increase our chances of passing. This is, of course, our prayer.

Sitting Still

2009-02-05T22:08:00.000-08:00

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor deem these days -- these waiting days -- as ill!
The One who loves thee best, who plans thy way,
Hath not forgotten thy great need today!
And, if He waits, 'tis sure He waits to prove
To thee, His tender child, His heart's deep love.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Thou longest much to know thy dear Lord's will!
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corrodingly within, because of His delay --
Persuade thyself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves, will do the best.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one until
His way hath opened. Then, ah then, how sweet!
How glad thy heart, and then how swift thy feet
Thy inner being then, ah then, how strong!
And waiting days not counted then too long.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
What higher service could'st thou for Him fill?
'Tis hard! ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all how much is lost!
'Tis hard, 'tis true! But then -- He giveth grace
To count the hardest spot the sweetest place.

-- J. Danson Smith, from today's reading in Streams in the Desert (Cowman)

**Dedicated to those who wait...it is looking like court dates will be a long way off for many of us...and to those who suffer...a family from our agency was informed today that their long-awaited baby girl has passed away. Please keep them in your prayers. Please continue to pray for little Abby, who tonight is struggling just to breathe....

Dude, Where's My Court Date?

2009-02-01T21:05:00.000-08:00

Wow. This part of the journey is agonizing. Its like being pregnant, but the doctor tells you that your due date could be sometime in the next three to five months. Certainly it doesn't carry with it the physical discomfort like the last stages of pregnancy, but this stage of waiting is emotionally painful. Prior to reaching this point I reassured myself that our life is busy enough to keep my mind and heart engaged for the (hopefully) three month interval between our referral and court date/travel approval. That is proving true -- but only to a point. After the boys are in bed each night --and hubby is working -- I find myself aimlessly thinking of nesting-type things that I want to do, but am unsure if I really should be doing them...yet. After all, so much is still up in the air.

I am huge on planning things ahead of time. Spontaneity was something I learned only through marriage and having two little boys. To me when something can be planned ahead of time, its so much better. I can relax. The fact that we may or may not be travelling to Africa some unknown time in the next two to three months wreaks havoc on my planner. (Let's not forget the poor grandmothers, who are essentially "on call" for two to three months from now, as they get joint-custody of our boys when we travel.)

A phone call regarding our court date is what we're waiting for now...and it essentially could come any day now, I think. (The phone call, not the court date.) Its been a month since our referral. Not all that long ago, parents weren't told of their court date until it was over. God was merciful when He had that policy changed in time for our turn through the process. I don't know how I'd stay sane with absolutely nothing to put on my calendar!

In the meantime, we're slowly getting the office/future bedroom cleared out. We bought a dresser at IKEA a few days ago. The box has been riding around in our van ever since, as we essentially haven't got a spot to put it. (Yes, its packed in a two-foot by four-foot box and we don't have anywhere to put it!) We had decided to buy it anyway, because it was just one of those days when Mama needed some sort of forward movement, lest she hole up in the her bedroom for the rest of the evening. It got us out of the house and IKEA is just so kid-friendly...it was just a good thing to do. And when you've got two to three more months to go (on the short side) you take what you can get.

But, seriously, we need a court date!

Not Dead Yet

2009-01-27T22:05:00.000-08:00

We completed Referral Paperwork 2.0 today -- thank goodness the bank doesn't charge to notarize. (They sure charge for everything else!) It leaves in tomorrow's mail, after we photocopy it. It was, however, quickly replaced by Travel Paperwork, which arrived today! Sadly, we still don't have more than a general idea of when we will get to use said Travel Paperwork, but its sure fun to think about!

This Thursday we will have our first travel call, in which we get to discuss the Travel Paperwork. It will be a conference call with other families in a similar stage of the process -- folks we only know through the Internet. Each step is exciting because it means we are just that much closer to actually meeting our daughter. Remind me of that when I get my hepatitis shots.

In other news, we are preparing a garage sale for President's Day weekend. Yes, I know. Its still winter. It will be mostly indoors, as in actually in a garage. Well, technically its my in-laws' home office, but that's beside the point. The point is, if we waited until the sun decided to show up around these parts, we'd be holding the garage sale four months after we get home from Ethiopia -- as in August. Given the expenses involved, we may just have to do one in August as well. (For you local folks who may have garage sale-worthy items you want to donate, you can drop them by Tim and Bev's house anytime before February 13th. Thanks!)

Speaking of donations, we have been unbelievably blessed by some anonymous donations lately. Unbelievably. Blessed. Let's just say, God is good!

Death by Paperwork

2009-01-22T17:11:00.000-08:00

So, you remember that big ol' stack of referral paperwork that we filled out and overnighted to AGCI? Yeah, well, it has vanished. Gone. They can't locate it anywhere. They know they received it -- they have the check -- but somewhere between our Case Manager and the Program Manager, it got misplaced. Thus, the kindly UPS gal once again appeared on my doorstep with a packet of papers. We have a week to return this set and you can bet I'm not paying the big money to ship it this time around! Thankfully, its just internal paperwork for the agency, and will not in any way slow down our process. It just gives me one more thing to do while I wait! (I think I'd rather go shopping for little leggings instead -- for the baby, not for me -- but whatever.)

Speaking of missing paperwork, I do have good news to report, in that our long, lost document from Citizenship/Immigration has finally reached its appropriate places. Long story short, we had the correct document since August, though we were told it was not. They had given us our extension back when we filed for our country change, but sent it to AGCI's Vietnam liaison, so nobody really knew. Anyway, even when they finally figured out that it was the right document and where it was, it still listed the Vietnam agency on it. Now, however, we have the REAL correctly-labeled, document. It only took 4+ months to figure that out. (Funny how quickly things were ironed out once our social worker mentioned our state senator....) It is a definite answer to prayer, however it came to pass.

Several families just returned from picking up their children -- how exciting! A couple of them are ill -- yes, that seems to happen a lot despite every precaution -- but you can bet that once they're better I'm going to be bugging them for information on our little Miss M: "Tell me, did you see my baby? You know, the cutest one in the whole place?" :)

Counting the Days...and Pennies

2009-01-18T22:51:00.000-08:00

No, we still haven't heard anything. But each day that passes is, well, another day passing, so in reality we are getting closer, right? We are assembling funds from all sorts of creative means, including some garage sales we held way back when we were supposedly adopting from Vietnam. All that change has been stashed away, quite appropriately, in our baby girl's room-to-be, for a good year and a half now. With our change drive we're holding at our church, its adding up to decent amount of change. Every little bit helps. It really does. You may have noticed our nifty donation contraption on the side bar of the blog. I figured it couldn't hurt, though we don't expect much to come through it -- the main readers here being members of our church, family, and other adoptive families. But you never know if Bill Gates might just google his way here some day or something. (I actually did have a comment one time from someone who claimed to be in the upper-management of Microsoft. It was a very generic comment and I didn't give it much credit, though it was on a post about autism, and Microsoft is a big supporter in terms of autism funding...but I digress.) Anyway, it was an interesting tool somebody somewhere created.
I also wanted to address two of the most common questions we have been getting these days. The first question we hear is "Why can't you post her picture?" The answer is honestly, I don't know. It is an ethical issue mostly. Referred children aren't yours until the courts say they are, and in many cases, not until a family disembarks in the United States. It is vital to an adoption agency to be found above reproach and to avoid any activity that might be misconstrued as unethical. (ie taking advantage of or selling children, or taking advantage of birth families and their rights, as well) Pictures that are posted online can quickly end up in places they were never intended to go. Now, there are agencies (and countries, because sometimes the countries themselves set some of the guidelines) who are more lenient about posting of pictures and identifying information. But, to be perfectly truthful, I am so much more comfortable being a part of a program and with an agency that has strict guidelines and that does all it can to protect all parties involved than an agency that waffles on issues and bends the rules to please their clients. I can live with not publishing my daughter-to-be's photo online for three months if it means that Ethiopia agrees to let me bring her home! Then everyone will be sick of pictures!

The other question we've been getting is "What are you going to name her?" or variations on that theme. That's another tough one, and what follows will be our opinion only and is in no way meant to be a judgment on other families who do things differently. When we first began the adoption process three years ago, we intended to give our baby a first name of our choosing and have her middle name be her given name. Of course, at the time we were intending to adopt from Vietnam and felt her given name would probably be more difficult to pronounce. Fast forward to our switch to Ethiopia and you'll find that our feeling on that matter has changed. For one thing, many children who come out of Ethiopia have familiar, and often biblical, names such as Abel, Lydia, Miriam, Elias, or Sara. Names that are more Amharic (the main language in northern Ethiopia) in origin are a little more challenging, but not impossible. We were moved by the thought that her given name might be the only thing she may have from her birth mother, apart from DNA, and felt that we may in fact want to keep her given name as her first name in tribute to that fact. Of course, in the case of abandoned babies, which is so often the case in Ethiopia, their name could have been given to them at any point, by any person. All that being said, we haven't really decided what we are going to do. The name she was given, (which I can say starts with an M!), isn't too hard to pronounce, has a lovely meaning, and most importantly, is simply her name. We also have the nickname "Jo" which we have been using for years now, simply so that we wouldn't have to just call her "the Baby." We will likely incorporate that into a longer name, which will either be her first name or her second name...but we haven't completely decided. Actually, we've decided about 5 times now since we got her referral...only to change our minds each time. If we do finally make a more permanent decision, we will let everyone know. And we will release as much of it as we are able -- see the paragraph above! I suppose we technically have until we arrange for her passport in Ethiopia (??) so you may be in for a long wait!

What Happens Now

2009-01-15T15:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we sent off our acceptance paperwork -- overnighted it, in fact. There was a lot to sign off on and notarize, plus we needed to document that we sort of have an idea of what we're getting into by creating a transition plan. Of course, we had to fork over a hefty sum to get things rolling over in Ethiopia, as well. They will need to do further medical tests and some poor soul needs to translate all our documents for court.

And now we will wait. Again. This time we are waiting for a call that should arrive in the next 2 to 4 weeks letting us know our assigned court date. By the time we get that call, the court date will be at least a month out, if not longer. About a week after our court date we should receive a call telling us whether or not we passed court. If we did pass court, we will recieve travel dates...about 2 to 3 weeks out from that point. (Very short notice for overseas travel!) If we fail to pass court, which does happen for various reasons, some of them unclear, we'll be assigned a new court date and wait again.

In the meantime, we'll be raising the money neccessary for travel, getting a couple immunizations, coming up with a permanent name, and -- the most time-consuming of all -- turning our office/storage area/bedroom-sized junk drawer into a nursery!

Abby needs your Prayers

2009-01-13T16:11:00.000-08:00

Please pray for Abby and her family on Wednesday.

Big Things in Small Packages

2009-01-07T21:13:00.000-08:00

Its our much-anticipated Referral Packet! Seriously. We watched for the UPS truck all day long. I had pretty much given up around 5 o'clock, then at 7 o'clock I was trying to herd the boys upstairs when I heard the truck. We thundered back downstairs and answered the door en masse. I think we scared the poor woman. (One adoptive family I know of took a photo of their UPS delivery gal dropping off the package. We intended to steal the idea, but if you've seen the news, we're under major flood conditions here in Washington State. The poor woman looked as if she had swum upstream to deliver the package. At 7 pm. I decided to spare her.) This half-inch-thick binder, complete with a much cuter picture on the front than the representation seen here, holds nearly a half-inch-thick stack of paperwork that must be completed to really get this thing moving! Well, until it hangs out in Ethiopia for another three months. But at least its progress!
Speaking of which, we have our phone consult with the international pediatrician tomorrow morning. AND my new favorite person, our social worker, is now playing hardball with the folks that are holding our FDL form hostage, telling them that she is trying to dissuade us from contacting our senator. Ha! Love it. Our former copy was also discovered to be at the agency that AGCI teamed up with for the Vietnam program. Ah, bureaucracy.

Our Early Ethiopian Chirstmas Present!

2009-01-05T22:42:00.001-08:00

Guess whose picture we're looking at?! That's right! We got our call today. For months and months I've been dreaming about what I'd write when I finally got to create this post -- well, that's all out the window now. Its 10:39 -- past my bedtime -- but I promised I post what info I could, so here goes -- and I apologize for the lack of profundity:

Sometime just shortly after noon, I was in the WalMart parking lot, having just finished loading up our groceries, when my phone rang. It being the first day the AGCI offices were open following the holidays, I briefly wondered if it might be my husband. But, alas, it was a number I didn't recognize -- and it wasn't the prefix for Portland, where AGCI is located. Of course, since I don't ever receive phone calls from AGCI, I wasn't aware that they don't call out from that prefix. Anyhow, some strange thing caused me to answer regardless. And it was Julie. Our case worker. I don't remember which thought I had first -- "What the heck? Why is she calling me instead of hubby?" or "Oh my gosh. Its actually happening." Either way, I was in the WalMart parking lot. Not with hubby. So after confirming that this was indeed THE Call, I asked her to call me back in half an hour when I would be with hubby. Then I called Hubby. He had just found Julie's voicemail on his cell phone and had guessed what was up. I told him I was on my way. Then I called my mom. Then -- don't tell the cops this, since we have a law here that forbids it -- I started driving while calling our biggest adoption fan, Susan. AND, to top it off, I broke a REALLY big rule and sent a text to Amy W, because I promised her I would. After an excruciating drive home, I dashed inside, threw anything remotely perishable (still in the grocery bags) into the refrigerator and dashed right back outside again. If our neighbors didn't already think we were completely bonkers, they probably would now. Then I got stuck behind a truck going 10 miles UNDER the speed limit. Going down a hill. It was really painful. Even my three year-old, my unwitting partner in all this craziness, was complaining. To make a long story short, we eventually made it to hubby's office. (He has conference calling and Grandma is across the street.) During the looong drive, I had hubby call Julie to let her know that it would be a little longer, and that we would call her from where hubby was. Well, wouldn't you know that when we tried to call she had gone on lunch break. Lunch break!
Anyhow, we finally did eventually get to chat with her and hear the news we have waited so long to hear. There is a baby girl for us. Almaz, at Hannah's Hope, the home in Ethiopia, estimates she is between 7 1/2 to 8 weeks old. We were emailed 22 adorable pictures of "M" -- she is small with big eyes and a little bit of hair. Tomorrow we will get our actual referral packet via UPS. In the meantime, I have already contacted two different pediatricians who specialize in adopted children. We are required to run the baby's medical info by one such doctor before we can officially accept the referral. For now, she appears to be a beautiful, healthy little girl!

What a long-awaited answer to prayer! Praise God!

*Sorry I can't give more details or post photos on the Internet.

A Fine Brick Wall

2008-12-23T15:21:00.001-08:00

We seem to have reached a major roadblock in terms of our I-600a extension. This form is one we file with Citizenship and Immigration to be cleared in advance to bring an orphan into the country. We were approved over a year ago, but after a certain period of time the approval expires and you must apply for an extension. We did this in September. We know that our application was received -- we were smart enough to have delievery confirmation -- but from there its all a mystery. The process ideally takes about two weeks in our state. We should have received our approval letter (I-171h) by the beginning of October. Now it is the end of Decmeber and there is no sign of it.

I contacted them at the end of October and since that time have been told on a weekly basis that we are approved and our form is in the mail. About two weeks ago, when there was still no sign of our letter, I enlisted the help of our social worker. She is now getting the exact same run-around. They would not give her any information but to say that they would resend the form. Last week they even went so far as to confirm our address and tell us that the form was going out that day. Over a week later, we still haven't seen it. Their office is three hours away.

Nobody knows what is really going on. It is completely absurd that such a routine process would be so messed up. I almost wonder if somebody there doesn't like us for some reason. We may never know, but we need that form.

When a family is placed on the waiting list, the understanding is that they will have this letter in hand by the time they reach the top. With over 20 families on the girl's list, signifying months of wait time, its not a big deal to have the process done in time. It is, however, a stated requirement to have this form to complete the referral process. I'm not sure what this means for our case. I've been keeping our case worker up-to-date, so she knows we're trying. If it comes down to it, we will seriously drive over there and pick up the silly form -- that is, if they'll let us.

Would you please pray specifically for this form? Also that we wouldn't be anxious -- we really feel like we've hit a brick wall. As with our referral, we must essentially sit and wait through the holidays, because if things weren't moving at this government office during normal days, I can only imagine how difficult it will be to navigate during these next two weeks. Our social worker and case worker are also out of the office until the 5th. I officially hate waiting!

Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

2008-12-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

"It was really the best Christmas present ever -- even better than hearing about our baby girl. I would gladly postpone our referral in exchange for that moment. I really would."

I wrote that yesterday (on our family blog) in response to my son's Christmas program. Little did I know -- or maybe I did know deep down -- that we weren't likely to get our referral before Christmas, that it really would be postponed.

We found out today that there is little chance of a referral before early January. I spent a significant amount of time grieving the loss of that hope this afternoon before I remembered what I had written yesterday. So ironic. Now, as I'm consciously choosing to move on and rejoice in the blessings of what I do have this Christmas, I realize that I really did mean what I said. The countless mountains that God has moved in the life of my son are a testament to what God can and will do in the coming year, and that reminder Sunday night was necessary to get me through the news of today.

Speaking of irony, consider what I wrote this time last year. And if that wasn't enough, there is this. I am simply awed by where God has brought us in just one year and humbled to think of what the next year might bring...starting in early January.

Telephonophobia

2008-12-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

Ever heard of it? Well, I've got it. Its the fear of using a phone*. Calling on the phone, answering the phone -- both are very difficult for me. I've gotten better though. I still get sweaty palms when I call anyone other than my mother or my husband, but at least now I can call to make my own appointments.

So why this confession? Because I'm probably the only mommy-in-waiting in the history of our agency who has her husband as the primary person to call. Yes, indeed. When our blessed moment arrives, my hubby will be the first to know! So its HIS name I anticipate with such anxiety every time I check my incoming calls. It also makes matters more complicated since he does call for other reasons throughout the day -- so I never really know. But, considering the fact that I'd probably faint if I saw AGCI's number on my phone, it really is the better option. Even if it is really weird.

*I made this up. However, I have heard of other people with a strong aversion to talking on the phone, so I wouldn't be surprised if there actually is a term for it. Just like coulrophobia, which is the fear of clowns and another phobia of mine. I'm actually bothered by any masked or costumed character, which my hubby says is related to my fear of the phone because in both cases the other person involved is concealed. He could have something there. The irony is that in his younger days my husband spent a number of years performing as a clown on mission trips around the world. But that's a post for a different day....

Looking Forward

2008-12-11T16:30:00.000-08:00

Looking forward to something really has its downsides. Its been about a week since we learned that we are just about as close as you can get to a referral without actually having one. And I'm hanging in there. Really. After three years on this journey, what's another couple of weeks? Trouble is that all isn't so rosy after that blessed moment of referral. And that's what's got me down. (And writing in sentence fragments, apparently.) Its like almost being to that last rest area before the most difficult part of the journey. For three years I've watched families get referrals only to then plunge into all manners of despair as they wait for court, wait for travel and/or experience lengthy delays, mistakes in paperwork, and even closure of of their country's program. Some have even lost their children before they were even able to bring them home. Adoption is like the longest pregnancy ever, followed by the longest labor and delivery ever...all for the price of a new SUV. And that doesn't include the emotional toll. I spend my moments praying for all these other families, their children, and their circumstances. With my own troubles heaped on top. Sometimes I wonder what on earth I've signed on for....

Lord, thank you for the blessing that I KNOW adoption to be -- help me to BELIEVE that ALL things DO work together for the good of those who love you. Grant me an extra measure of grace as I wait for that "rest area" and the journey to follow.

Can I Get an AAAHHH!?!

2008-12-05T20:24:00.000-08:00

So I've been sick for the last couple days. Totally out of it. But late last night I decide to check in on the AGCI listserve. Wasn't thinking that anything had happened. After the movement last week, I figured we'd have some down time. We were all just waiting for our official number updates. Oh, look, I say. Maria got a referral. How wonderful! Wait a minute. Maria is right before us. Maria was Number 4. If Maria got a referral, then we're like....

For the record, we did get our OFFICIAL number update today from our case worker, which is Number 4. That just means that there are three people ahead of us who haven't submitted their official referral acceptance paperwork. A family isn't removed from the list until that happens. So you can't OFFICIALLY move up until that happens. But, odds are we are indeed #1. At most #2. I think. Isn't that completely nuts??!!

God is moving and so are we...even if we aren't ready!

Someday Soon

2008-12-01T11:47:00.000-08:00

I'll get to use this fabric that I bought over two years ago!

Suddenly

2008-11-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

Number

Okay, so I threw a hissy fit last night. Tears, nasty attitude, the whole bit. Now I'm eating a big ol' slice of humble pie. Ala mode.

Huge congratulations to Sunday and Kristi. Just in time for Thanksgiving!

A Thousand Years

2008-11-25T16:19:00.000-08:00

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping in promises, as some understand slowness.... 2 Peter 3:8-9

The text refers to the Lord's return, but the truth is still the same when applied to any sort of waiting. Especially when the waiting feels like a thousand years....

(Could we really be Number 6??)

Going Batty

2008-11-14T23:14:00.000-08:00

I am seriously going nuts with waiting right now. I'm not anxious, I'm just pulling my hair out! The Lord knew what He was doing -- doesn't He always?? -- when He pulled us from the 6-8 month wait of the Vietnam program. Its been at least three weeks since the last referral and it feels like an eternity. Makes me feel like a big baby. Baby? Did someone say "baby"?! Ackk!

A Link and An Update

2008-11-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed the image I have on the sidebar for a little girl named Abby. Abby is one of the children brought home through AGCI's Guatemala program. Not long after coming home, she was diagnosed with leukemia. Her story, shared by her parents on their family blog, is pretty remarkable, as is she. Her parents are true soldiers of God, as is evidenced by a posting on her father's blog today. I link to it here because it is such a testament of God's grace...a reminder we could all use daily.

There have been some significant miracles in our adoption circle this week: several families who were initially warned that their cases would likely not pass court due to the new processes did indeed pass. It was truly a work of God on their behalf. Some have been waiting since last spring. We are still praying for the families who didn't pass and for those who are waiting for court dates.

I am aware of only one referral (on the boys' list) these past two weeks, so those of us waiting are indeed truly waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I think I get spoiled by the huge floods of referrals that come through. During the dry times I simply go crazy. Fortunately, for this circumstance, life is ridiculously busy so I can't focus on the craziness for very long before something else beckons. Usually something in the form of one of my children.

We are supposed to be emailed our current, official waitlist numbers this week, but I'm thinking its probably not going to happen. Our dear case worker, Julie, is at this very moment in Ethiopia tackling a "day care" renovation, (I wish I could post pictures. Does anyone know if its okay to post the pictures of the day care?) some work at Hannah's Hope, and possibly fact-finding about the new policies, etc. Lucky! Not so lucky is Case Worker Christy, who is left to manage all her crazy waiting mommies as well as Julie's. Poor woman! Anyway, I'm handling the delay fine because we crazy waiting mommies are PROS at deducing our numbers ahead of time.

And that's all I've got to report right now!

PS I keep thinking about creating a blogroll of the many wonderful AGCI families, but there are just so many that I'm worried I would leave someone out. They are always such a source of encouragement to me -- they speak volumes that I cannot even express about WHY we are adopting and the blessings of growing one's family through adoption. Its on my to-do list. Really.

Hope Deferred

2008-10-31T15:47:00.000-07:00

Hope deferred makes the heart sick...

Such is the feeling of many families in the Ethiopian adoption program this week. We were informed that significant changes are being made in the way adoptions are being processed in Ethiopia. This is due to concerns about the number of children being adopted internationally and also an increase in efforts to ensure that all adoptions that are completed are done so in an ethical manner. The biggest effect this has on us is an increase in the time between when we get our referral and when we get approval to travel. (The timeline they were giving us before these changes was 3-5 weeks. They haven't said exactly by how much the timeline will increase, just that it will increase from the numbers they gave us before.)
The biggest hardship about an increase of this sort is that once you have your referral, you have a picture and a name...a face and a name to your child, whom you now have to wait possibly over five months more to meet, knowing that a lot of milestones are being passed and that your five month-old infant will be nearly a year old before you meet her. Many families facing this change already have their referrals and have been waiting a number of months already. Please pray for them!
I recall seeing these sort of changes taking place not long before the Vietnam program closed. After coming so far, I'm so worried that it will all be for nothing. Please pray for us too -- that we may hold on faithfully for the conclusion of the proverb....

...But desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

Bittersweet

2008-10-22T21:54:00.000-07:00

Referrals are coming so fast these days, I can barely keep up. If I've calculated correctly, we are Number 8 on the waiting list now. This is both incredibly exciting and a little terrifying. My husband compared it to having early labor contractions. (Which we've experienced, with our second-born. I had contractions from Week 26 to the very end, tempered only by medication and bedrest.) While we're so very excited to have our little one sooner rather than later, its really rather scary. We feel really unprepared! We've been encouraged all along by the truth that God's timing is perfect, but that was when we felt like things were moving too slowly. Ironic, isn't it?

One of the most pressing issues is of course finances. We've been putting off fundraising endeavors, thinking we had all kinds of time. It was also a nice excuse because hubby and I are both big babies when it comes to asking for help, in whatever form it might be. (ex. Our eldest's school walk-a-thon. I barely got up the courage to ask the grandparents for donations, let alone anyone else!) I enjoy making jewelry and had big dreams of maybe turning a bit of a profit with it for the adoption. I don't think its going to happen. There simply isn't enough time in the day with two little ones, Bible studies, and the usual everyday crises. All is not lost, however, because we do have other ideas, probably to be unveiled in the next month.

The news of so many referrals -- and the corresponding realization that our little girl has likely recently been born -- also brings a twinge of sadness. It is no light thought to consider that such an availability of orphaned children implies a large amount of tragedy. When considering an international adoption, one is often plagued by much criticism about adopting outside one's own country. After all, aren't there children in need of homes in the United States? Certainly. And shouldn't children be left with their own people (ie countrymen) to be cared for? Of course, if it is feasible. When one considers the huge need in a country like Ethiopia, however, one cannot help but realize that there is a sense of crisis there. All these little babies being united with families who are able to meet their needs and love them...there are so many! And where else would they go? Okay, I'm done preaching. I don't know that I've made much sense anyway!

Let me just say that we are SO EXCITED to be a part of this journey. Next week I'll likely be posting about the painful slowness of the process -- next month will mark the third anniversary of our application to adopt -- but tonight is one of those nights when we're barely keeping ourselves from jumping on the beds. (Gotta be a good example, you know!) Number 8 -- YIKES!

Single Digits?!

2008-10-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

Ack! After being so depressed this week over the adoption, I took a much-needed break from the online AGCI listserv and my obsessive blog-stalking. I didn't even check my email, because I knew our bi-weekly update from our case worker would be there. Tonight I finally gave in and checked my email...and found that there had been two more referrals! (And some long-awaited travel dates!) Now instead of being depressed, I'm about to pass out! I think we've reached single digits, baby!

New Number - Official and Otherwise

2008-10-09T15:55:00.000-07:00

We received our bi-monthly number email yesterday. It was no surprise to read that officially-speaking we are....
Number

But we also know that, given this week's referrals, unless something goes awry, we are actually....

Number

Time Out, Grumpy Bunny!

2008-10-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

That's the name of one of my boys' storybooks. And that's what my husband told me when he came home to find me stomping -- well, more like thud-clomping -- around the house in a huff.
Why was I so flustered? Because one -- no, wait -- two -- no wait -- three* families received their referrals today!

But isn't that a happy thing, you ask? Absolutely! But when you read rumors of referrals on your husband's laptop downstairs, but don't know the addresses of the AGCI blogs by heart because they are "cookied" into your favorites on your own laptop, but your laptop is upstairs and meanwhile the timer for the brownies is going off and your toddler is literally hanging off of you -- and, oh, did I mention you're on crutches? -- so when you finally actually get upstairs you have to wait like forever for your laptop to start up, then one starts to go a little nuts! Okay, well, at least I do.

All that to say: HOORAY for Amy, Angela, and very likely Aubrey! And their respective husbands, too, of course. Many, many, MANY congratulations on your referrals!

We were told that THIS week would be the week we would get our OFFICIAL wait list numbers, which are only determined once all prior referrals are accepted/approved. We are pretty darned certain our new number would be 14. However, said number would very likely be obsolete before we even get it, because of these three* pending referrals! That would put us (unofficially) at Number 11, folks. Crazy, crazy stuff!!

*Still waiting to be corroborated. :)

Fun with Calendars

2008-09-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

So, how long have we been in the Ethiopian program now? Long enough that one would think we would have heard that Ethiopia has a different calendar than us. Really. We never knew this.
Then, back on September 11th I started reading on adoption blogs -- yes, that's all I ever seem to do in my spare time these days! Its a sickness, I know. -- about that day being the Ethiopian New Years and that they are seven years behind us. Next, I come to find out that their calendar year has only ten months. How interesting is that? Confusing, too, I might add, because this plays into the calculation of the age of your adopted child. The people that know how to convert the birth date and age and all that business have my admiration, because that's just too much math for me! There are, however, handy online date-conversion calculators, one of which is here. If you have oh-so-much spare time like me, you can calculate your birth date according to the Ethiopian calendar. (ex. my birth date translates from 06/76 to 10/68) Or you can just use this handy piece of geographical trivia to amaze your friends.

Courts Opened Today!

2008-09-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

Courts are open! This means that cases can be processed again. Families with referrals will have their cases go to court in Ethiopia. After passing the courts, they will be given travel dates. As families travel to pick up their children, more room opens up for children at Hannah's Hope. That means more families can be connected with their children-to-be. This is, of course, a very general description of what happens. Its much more complicated. (Referrals aren't directly and that simply connected to space at HH, but there is a bit of logic in it.) But, the opening of court is a reason for all in the adoption waiting process to rejoice nonetheless.

Speaking of waiting, we've passed the 3 month mark on the girls' wait list. When we first started in the Ethiopia program, we were given a 4-6 month wait time. Now its around 6-8 months, which is still incredibly short -- believe it or not -- in the adoption world. At the actual rate that things are going right now, we could very well receive a referral by 6 months -- but there are no guarantees. Everything seems so much longer though because we've been at this so long. All told it will be three years this Thanksgiving since we first applied to adopt. Ugh. Well, it goes without saying that God knows why the timing has worked like it has...and we already see the providence in much for it. But three years is still a very long time to be "expecting"!

And speaking of expecting, if all goes as it has in the past, we should be receiving our THIRD and final -- hopefully! -- FDL in the mail this week. Pray that they corrected that silly mistake on there, because while it won't make or break our case, its just one more unknown that could bug some official somewhere and prolong the process. Yuck.

We should also get our official, updated wait list number this week. We're pretty confident that we're Number 14, but only the Powers That Be (ie. Julie) know for sure!

Prayers for Abby

2008-09-26T13:31:00.000-07:00

So while I'm sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I've been following the blogs of other AGCI families. The ones I really love to read are those who have brought little girls home -- because someday that's going to be me, but I also enjoy those of folks who are still enduring the wait right alongside me. And then there is the Riggs family. I've been following their blog for months now. The Riggs are true examples of what it means to parent and grow your family in obedience to God even in the face of adversity. One of the children they have adopted -- a little girl named Abby -- was fairly recently diagnosed with leukemia. Since her diagnosis, there has been no end to the trials this family has had to endure. This week in partcular has been particularly heart-wrenching. Please, remember them in your prayers.

Bring on the Referrals!

2008-09-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

In one crazy week, there have been at least 3 refarrals of little girls and at least 2 baby boy referrals. Potentially, that would move us up to Number 15 on the wait list. I can't believe how much movement there is right now. At this rate, especially once the courts open in a few weeks, we may have our referral by New Years!

I think it might be time to get serious about our fundraising! Yikes!

Our congratulations to Autumn, Melissa, Kami, and Shannon -- and the other mommy whose name I don't know! We are rejoicing with you!

EDIT: Since I posted this morning, there has been another referral! Congrats to Bethany! Gracious, we're like up to Number 14 now! (Unofficially!)

Moments of Gratitude

2008-09-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

It may seem odd to feel such a strong sense of longing for a child you've never met or even seen, but strangely enough, its very real. I guess when God moves the heart to adopt, He also starts to build that bond from the very beginning. That being the case, the long months of waiting can really take a toll on a mommy-to-be. Ethiopia has a court closure for the months of August and September that results in two months of little to no movement in the adoption world -- and I am really feeling burdened for those who are so close to uniting with their child, but are stuck in limbo. A fellow AGCI blogger chose to create a lost of 25 things for which she is grateful, in the hopes that others would join in. (I really need to create a blogroll of all these wonderful families who have adopted or are adopting. It is such a blessing to have a way of connecting with them! Hmm...maybe I'll make that my #1!)

25 Things for Which I am Grateful Today (in no particular order)

1. Other adoptive families who encourage me, inspire me, and pray with me

2. My son's school

3. Time with my youngest son

4. The uncharacteristically beautiful weather we're having here in Washington State

5. My husband's job

6. My best friend and biggest fan -- my husband

7. The health of my family and extended family

8. My home

9. The luxuries of food and clothing

10. My parents and extended family

11. Our church and the friends I have made there

12. My mentor and Bible study partner

13. Our crazy pets

14. Living near the mountains AND the ocean

15. Our cars (and the money to fuel them)

16. The ability to read and write

17. Being spared the agony of limbo in the Vietnam program (we changed programs just months before the closure of adoptions in Vietnam -- in ignorance of what was about to happen)

18. How quickly we've moved up the waiting list! 11 spots in 2 months? Not bad!

19. My quirky brave eldest son

20. My goofy sweet youngest son

21. Our "baby sister" (as the boys call her) who we will meet someday soon

22. The burden of my son's autism (I stole this idea from Sunny too, because its soo true. It is quite simply amazing how the Lord refines us and draws us near in our suffering.)

23. The folks at Children's Therapy Center

24. Dr O and Dr K, who helped when nobody else could

25. My precious Jesus, Who is teaching me every day what it means to love Him

With that said, bring on October!

New Number

2008-09-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

We got our update phone call today. We are officially number....

How is that for exciting?! And I really needed some good news today. I was really surprised. I was guessing we'd be closer to 21 or so. This means that five families have accepted some sort of referral in the last month. Some families are waiting for a boy OR a girl, some are waiting for a toddler girl, some may opt for a waiting child (older, sibling group, or with special needs). Ironically, the wait can get longer as you move up the list because as you get closer to the top, preferences are getting more specific. But for now, #18 is a pretty darn good place to be!

Adoption and John Piper

2008-08-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

Stumbled across these today, after first reading a quote somewhere out in the blog world:

A short video commentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgNXQ2CazUg
(For you Valley folks, he references Ephesians!)

And for those with more time, a longer read: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByDate/1991_Adoption_The_Heart_of_the_Gospel/

Adoption and the Church

2008-08-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

My mom sent me the link to this powerful posting on adoption by Albert Mohler on his blog: http://www.albertmohler.com/blog_read.php?id=1504 .

I often feel embarassed to bring up our adoption because I don't want to be seen as bragging, like I'm proud of doing some good deed. In truth, being obedient to the call of adoption had very little to do with our decision to do so in the beginning. We were just interested in having more children and were open to the idea of doing so through adoption. (While it is not impossible for us to have more children biologically, given the difficulty of my second pregnancy it is not a very desirable option.) The fact that God commands us to care for orphans -- at home and abroad -- only serves to affirm that we are doing something right. He's the only One to whom we have to answer and it is our hope that He will find us faithful.

Glitch

2008-08-28T15:37:00.000-07:00

After admiring our renewed FDL, we discovered that it still referred to the agency AGCI was partnering with for the Vietnam program. Oops! USCIS is going to have to redo it. Julie assures us that it shouldn't be that big of a deal. We're just relieved to have discovered it BEFORE we really needed the document. We have plenty of time on our hands (in terms of the adoption -- not in our REAL life!) to have it fixed! Whew!

FDL!!

2008-08-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

Hooray! Praise the Lord! We got our Favorable Determination Letter this weekend -- we were out of town, so I'm not sure exactly which day it came, but we're talking less than two weeks since our fingrerprint appointment, people!
This is the document that essentially gives us pre-approval to bring an orphan home. It needs to be completed before we can accept a referral, the significance at this time being that when our time finally comes we already have everything in place!
And now back to waiting....

AGCI Picnic

2008-08-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

Saturday was our annual regional AGCI picnic. It was for all the families in the area who have adopted through AGCI, are in the process of adopting, or are interested in adoption.

While I was excited to mingle with other families, I was anxious -- me? anxious? never! -- about the idea of meeting new people and bringing our boys into such an uncertain environment. After all, our case manager AND social worker would be there -- what if they saw what a unfit parent I am?!

As is often the case, however, we ended up enjoying ourselves -- even if my husband did have to force me, like the big baby that I am, to start conversations with complete strangers. The boys had a blast in the swimming area, which was enough distraction to keep them from uprooting/flooding/otherwise destroying the picnic area. We met many very nice people who are also in the Ethiopia program and exchanged information so we could keep in touch. (I am hopeful that we will actually do so, unlike the old summer camp ritual that never comes to anything!)

If nothing else, we got a picture with our case manager, Julie, (left) that will be nice to have to show our daughter someday...and not just as proof of her brothers' goofiness! And, no, I am not pregnant. That's just the beauty of a poofy shirt combined with a wiggly child.

Wait List Update

2008-08-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

We got our wait list update for the month and we are...still #23. I think we would have moved up because there was a family moved off the girls' wait list this month -- they choose to accept a 2 year-old boy instead! -- but for a turn of tragic events. Remember the baby girl with special needs? A family was all set to bring her home and help her through her surgeries, but she unexpectedly passed away due to some unforeseen health complication . In circumstances such as this, the family is returned to the wait list and placed at the top. When we received word of this the email actually said that if we had a problem with that or needed further explanation we should contact our case worker! I can't imagine being upset with such a move for that poor family! They essentially lost their baby -- before even bringing her home! My heart hurts for them. And I pray that they find healing and are able to be united with another child, if that is what they wish to do. So we didn't move up the list this month -- I really am okay with that.

More Fingerprints

2008-07-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

After weeks of wondering what had become of our packet sent to USCIS, we received notices for our fingerprint appointments! According to our social worker, it is safe to assume that we are approved (pending clearance of the fingerprints) for our renewal of our Favorable Determination with Citizenship/Immigration. This will save us about $600 and a whole lot of paperwork! The appointments are set for the 11th of August, at a location about 20 minutes away. Once the prints are processed, we should receive a new letter of approval and then all we need to do is wait. When our referral comes through, we'll be good to go!

Paperwork Update

2008-07-18T14:56:00.000-07:00

We got word today that our dossier just made it back from being authenticated in Washington DC. It will now be sent to AGCI's contact in Ethiopia. She will look after it until we are matched with (and accept) a referral. At that point I would assume it would probably move into the court system there.

Two weeks ago we sent in a request to USCIS (Citizenship and Immigration) to have our approval extended and also to be approved to adopt from Ethiopia rather than Vietnam. We were extremely fortunate when we did our Vietnam dossier to be able to hand-deliver our CIS application and have our digital fingerprints done on a walk-in basis. Since then, the policies here in Washington have changed and we had to do it all by mail, requesting that they set a time for our fingerprints to be taken*. Last time we were approved in two weeks. This time we are at the mercy of the system. I know I'm just spoiled though, because most other states don't have the availability of walking in to take care of this part of the process. There is a good chance that it may take a few months this time around. Fortunately we technically don't need to have our CIS approval in hand until we have a child referred to us, but it would sure be nice to have everything in order.

That's all I have to report right now, which is actually good since we have plenty on our plate for the time being....

*These fingerprints are different than the ones required for our dossier. I don't know why the different government agencies have to each have their own fingerprint process, but hey, that's government for you!

2 Weeks Later

2008-07-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

We are number:

Now, before you all get excited about how quickly the list seems to be moving, keep in mind that the Ethiopian government officially shuts down over the next two months, due to a national holiday of sorts. That means things are going to slow way down. Its still going to be at least four months, but likely six months or more before we reach the top. BUT in this house, we are never ones to scoff at progress!

Twenty-Six

2008-06-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

We are officially number:

On the waiting list for a girl!

We did it!

2008-06-27T15:07:00.000-07:00

We mailed our dossier in yesterday! Praise the Lord!

I wrote a long and heartfelt post soon after about how it feels to finally reach this point after three years...and promptly lost it all. The resulting agony made me unable to attempt it again until now.

I feel like I can finally get excited about our adoption now. This is a milestone in the process that has eluded us for so long. We were so close with the Vietnam adoption process, only to have to turn back for a time. Everything that follows this point will be uncharted territory for us!

It seems like most of the process so far has taken place in the quiet background of our life. There isn't a whole lot of drama to be found in paperwork and notarizations. Also, I know I have avoided talking about it much due to the assumption that most people probably think we're crazy, given the chaos that is our current family life. As to that, all I can say is that I have come to believe that God likes to keep us right on the edge of what we think we can handle so our only choice is to rely on Him. Or something like that.

The next few months will likely pass without any excitement, in regards to the adoption of course. This is fine, since our lives are pretty full this summer. As referrals come in for other families, we will slowly move up the waiting list and will hear occasionally where we officially stand. (There is a message board where many mommys-to-be keep an unofficial list of where folks fall. This is based on the limited information that we do get about eachother. In the adoption world, there is little knowledge of what is happening with other families. Things are kept confidential to the extreme. I technically cannot post a picture or give out the name of our referred child until I have her -- and her visa -- in my hands in Ethiopia.)

Once we finally receive the name and information of a referred child, we will have a short amount of time to consult with a pediatrician trained in working with internationally-adopted children and to pray a whole lot before we submit our decision to accept the referral. We have the choice to turn down a referral, but I believe the result is moving back to the bottom of the wait list. (??) If we accept a referral and then change our mind, Ethiopia has the policy that the child is deemed unadoptable forever and we would never be able to adopt from the country of Ethiopia again. Heavy stuff.

Upon acceptance of a child, our file would move into the court system where the end result would be the declaration of the child as officially -- on paper, at least -- ours. (As I said before, we cannot really claim her as ours until we are leaving Ethiopia with her and her visa.) We will then be assigned a date to travel to Ethiopia.

For now, we wait. I will still occasionally post if there is anything of interest to be shared or if I need to vent about how long everything is taking or about how other mommies are having babies in a predictable length of time and why didn't we just decide to do this the old-fashioned way, etc.

Oh, and we need to start fundraising. More on that later!

For now, we can just celebrate the fact that the hardest part is done!

All Clear

2008-06-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

Hooray! My fingerprints cleared! Our homestudy is done and can be sent off to the adoption agency ASAP!

Waiting on one more reference letter and our dossier can be sent off too!

Are we there yet??

2008-05-28T13:08:00.000-07:00

Nope. Not yet. I thought I would post, however, to tell you all where we are right now.

We are still waiting on my latest set of fingerprints. Everything else in our homestudy is done. And nearly everything else in our dossier is done. We will be getting letters from our local police department tomorrow (more background check stuff) and have to take a few photos of our house and ourselves and we will be done, done, done!

I verified that the prints made it to the FBI a week ago, so it should be about another week before the clearance (please, Lord!) reaches our social worker.

In the meantime, we have actually put our name on a list to consider a certain baby girl with correctable special needs. This was not something we had even considered going into the adoption process, but God has really been working on hearts, and obviously our current situation, to take on things we never thought we could. Anyhow, we are sort of the back-up family to be considered for this particular child, as there is another family interested in her who is further along in the process than we are, which gives them priority over us. Should they decide to "pass" on the opportunity, so to speak, we may have the chance to look over her information and decide if we want to move forward. That is, unless another family further along shows interest. So complicated! Anyway, the odds are pretty slim right now, which we knew would be the case, but the possibility is there. It goes without saying that we believe God has the right child waiting for us as we are waiting for her, so we are doing our best to be patient!

In Light of Current Events

2008-05-21T22:25:00.000-07:00

I wait.
Dear Lord, Thy ways
Are past finding out,
Thy love too high.
O hold me still
Beneath Thy shadow
It is enough that Thou
Lift up the light
Of Thy countenance.
I wait --
Because I am commanded
So to do. My mind
Is filled with wonderings.
My soul asks "Why?"
But then the quiet word,
"Wait Thou only
Upon God."
And so, not even for the light
To show a step ahead,
But for Thee, dear Lord,
I wait.

-Elisabeth Elliot

Mother's Day

2008-05-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

This is what I received for Mother's Day:

Its from Junk Posse, hand-made jewelry with an adoption theme, by Tracy in Colorado. Isn't it fun?

In other news, we found out today that my fingerprints were rejected...again! It is so discouraging. This means I have to go through the whole resubmission process again and another 2+ week wait. Just when we thought we were getting somewhere!

Career-Ending Injuries, Fingerprints, and Garage Sales

2008-05-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

Our homestudy is done! Except for my FBI fingerprint clearance. For some reason the resubmission still hasn't cleared yet. As soon as it shows up though, the homestudy will finally be finished.

We're still polishing off the last few items of our dossier -- we hope to be done by the end of May.

In other news, we attempted to take over a paper route as a means of raising funds. It was short-lived, however, as the action of throwing papers threw out Allan's back for three days following our first delivery! So that job went the way of my Dairy Queen career in college, which lasted all of two days. Fortunately Allan has a few other ideas he might try....

We will be having a garage sale soon, probably in conjunction with several other members of our extended family. I believe it will be Memorial Day weekend. I'll post more details later!

The Hand of Providence

2008-04-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24354348/

What more can I say?!

The Dossier Explained

2008-04-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

A few folks (not just Amy!) have asked about the dossier, so I thought I would explain that a little bit more. The dossier (doss-ee-ay) is the collection of documents that is compiled and actually sent to the country from which you are adopting. Typically, once approved by the adoption agency, the dossier is translated into the appropriate language and sent overseas. The child's country reviews and, hopefully, approves the dossier and sets the applicable process in motion for assignment of a child, or referral. In most cases, a dossier is also compiled for the child by the government. This would include as much information as is available about the child, medical records and history, and any necessary release forms from living relatives, I would assume.
The adoptive parent's dossier includes your homestudy approval documents, medical clearances, financial statements, letters of reference, criminal background check clearances, etc. The documents required in a dossier vary by country. When we joined the Vietnam program, we were told that we would have one of the easiest dossiers to complete. (It wasn't terrible, but I couldn't imagine what a more complicated dossier would be like!) Upon joining the Ethiopia program, we discovered that even "simpler" dossiers existed! Many of the documents required are the same between countries, so we actually have a few of these already "done" from our Vietnam dossier. They just need to be updated since so much time has passed.
Speaking of time, many people grumble about the length of time and the amount of paperwork required for an adoption, domestic or international. It IS frustrating and tedious, to be sure. Yet, I think about what I would want to happen if, heaven forbid, one of my biological children were to become an orphan. I would hope that should some stranger from another country wish to adopt my child, that that person would have to provide some serious proof of his or her ability to take care of my child! So, to a certain degree, it is all understandable and I believe it is definitely worth the time and effort!

And Yet Some News

2008-04-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

Phew. I had my fingerprints redone today and sent them on their way to the FBI...again. We were also able to FINALLY send off all the remaining homestudy documents. Hopefully our social worker can process those while we wait on the fingerprint clearance.

Yesterday we received the terrific news from AGCI that families can now be placed on the referral waiting list -- THE List, the list you wait on until they assign you your child -- as soon as their completed dossier is accepted by the agency! Prior to this, families would have to wait for approval through Immigration and the Dept of Homeland Security to be placed on the list. This would mean up to an additional two months wait, just to be put on the list to wait some more. With the rate that the Ethiopia program is currently moving -- that is, slightly slower than before but still faster than most other programs -- our agency now feels comfortable putting folks on the list while they are waiting for Immigration/DHS clearance.

Since we already have approval to adopt a child from Vietnam, we only have to submit a Change of Country form for Ethiopia to be reapproved -- hopefully! That means that when a child becomes available for us, we'll be all set to go that much faster. Now we just have to finish our dossier...while we wait on those fingerprints, of course.

And So It Goes

2008-04-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well, phooey. We were all ready to send off the last of our homestudy documents when we received word that my fingerprints were rejected by the FBI as too smudged. This means I have to wait to receive new fingerprint cards from our social worker, head to the police station to have the prints redone, then send the prints off to West Virginia for the FBI to process, and wait for word that this set was approved and that I have clearance. All this will take at least two weeks. We are on an incredibly fragile timeline as it is, for reasons that would take forever to explain, so this is a frustrating detour to have to take. Please pray that everything goes smoothly this time!

In the meantime, our case manager travelled to Ethiopia for two weeks and just sent out a slideshow of the kids in and around the Home there and of some of the families who also travelled at that to unite with their children. I wish I were allowed to share them, but alas, a whole bunch of confindentiality laws come in the way. Anyhow, it was bittersweet to see these beautiful children. As the process drags on, I feel more and more like I MISS my little girl, even though I don't even know her yet. Yet, it brings me hope to see the children -- it reminds me that someday I will have a picture of a little girl that will soon be my daughter.

Whose Timeline?

2008-03-25T21:54:00.000-07:00

"I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see, because this broken road is Your will for me." - Jeremy Camp

A phrase that is commonly thrown about in the course of the adoption process is "timeline." What is the timeline for adopting from this country? What is the timeline for the payment of fees? What is the timeline for this paper to be processed? What is the timeline for the wait for a baby girl as opposed to a baby boy? And so on.

Sunday morning, in the course of his Easter sermon, one of our pastors spoke of God's timeline in regards to Abraham. God promised Abraham and Sarah a son. (Gen 17) He didn't tell them how long it would take. They were already elderly, so they must have assumed it would happen sooner rather than later. It was already a shock that it would be happening at their age to begin with. Abraham and Sarah had also already taken it upon themselves to speed up God's covenant promise to Abraham of countless descendants (Gen 15), by arranging for Abraham to father children through Sarah's maidservant (Gen 16).

Our pastor's point was that Abraham, considered to be one of the great men of faith, didn't trust God's timeline and it brought great sadness to his household -- not by God's hand, but by his own. This struck me as such an important piece of truth to hold onto as we stumble down the road of our adoption timeline.

Will I trust God's timeline or will I try to hurry things along so I can feel in control? When I read updates on other families who are that much closer to bringing their children home, when I rejoice with a tiny bit of sadness as other women continue to have children biologically in a predictable 9-month timeframe, can I have faith that the timeline God has chosen for us is the best possible timeline for our family -- including our baby girl? It is my prayer that I will and can!

Slow Going

2008-03-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

We haven't gotten too far into the process and we are already experiencing frustrating delays. The homestudy portion, which we had first believed to be one of the easier steps since we had most of it already done, is dragging on longer than expected. Spring breaks and staffing issues present roadblocks out of our control.
Our medical forms are done, as well as our home visit. We are working on getting reference letters and our financial forms completed. Today we attempted to get our fingerprints done for processing through the FBI, but the police station was understaffed on this particular day (!) so we need to try again tomorrow. All that said, we still hope to have our portion of the homestudy updates done by the 1st of April. At that point, our social worker will need to compile the documents and send them to the adoption agency for approval. Only then will we be able to tackle our biggest hurdle, clearance through Immigration and Homeland Security.
Phew. Please continue to uphold us in prayer as we struggle to keep this momentum while tackling everyday life!

Things I Ponder in my Heart

2008-02-26T22:24:00.000-08:00

A few evenings ago as I was falling asleep, I found myself praying for our little girl. It occurred to me that, should we follow the timeline as it is supposed to go, it is quite likely that our baby girl is in utero right now.* This thought was heady enough for me to contemplate, but then I began to think about her birth mother. With a great deal of sadness I realized that if indeed our baby was within her mother's womb at this time, there would come a day when something tragic would happen that would result in her being separated from her mother and placed in an orphanage. It is awfully strange to think about, because in a sense we already know that something very heartbreaking has to happen for this little girl to become ours. What a sobering thought!

One of the unique requirements of adopting from Ethiopia is that if any birth relatives, which may even include the birth mother, are known and accessible, the adoptive parents are required to visit them. Obviously, this presents a wonderful opportunity to make connections, take photographs, and build memories that will be so important to creating a life story for the adopted child. It is also meaningful to the birth family to have that momentary connection, never knowing what the future holds. For me, however, the idea of this meeting holds a great amount of trepedation. As a mother, I simply cannot fathom giving up my children and can't comprehend what it would feel like to do so -- and then to meet the couple coming to take my baby away....

These thoughts cause me to look beyond my own "selfish" motives when I think of adoption. It is so much bigger than the transfer of a child from one home to the the next. It is so much more than finally getting the baby for whom we've waited so long. I ache for her mother and what she must go through -- things I cannot possibly understand. And I continue to pray...for all of us.

* Infants are available for adoption between 2-4 months, depending on the circumstances. This would be their age when they are assigned to you. Adding on the months it may take to travel, the youngest an infant would possibly be when brought home would be 4-6 months. We are probably asking for a child 6 months or younger at the time of referral, which means she could be up to 8-9 months when we bring her home. If, for example, she is 9 months when we bring her home, and we do indeed follow the 12 month timeline until we bring her home, her mother would be about 7+ months pregnant right now. Of course, only the Lord knows what He has in store for us!

A New Beginning

2008-02-23T20:13:00.000-08:00

Those of you who have known us for a while know that we have longed to adopt for over two years now. It began as a leap of faith, especially as our youngest son was only 6 months old at the time, and it has continued to be a leap of faith all along.

The first thing we needed to tackle was country choice. Two years ago we chose Vietnam. This was not an entirely worry-free decision, as my father and many others have unfortunately had their lives forever altered in connection with the country of Vietnam. Obviously, this was through none of their doing, nor that of the child we would be bringing home, but we worried none the less.

For nearly a year we worked toward this end, filling out piles of forms and paying a whole lot of fees. We took courses over the internet and read stacks of books. And we traveled three hours south to visit the agency, three hours north for our homestudy interviews, and three hours east to have our fingerprints processed through the Department of Homeland Security!

Just before we were to send out our final packet of documents, our dossier, we began to realize that there were pressing issues we needed to take care of at home. (See my other blog.) Recognizing that we could not continue with the adoption, both emotionally and financially, while we came to terms with our son's disorder, we put it on unofficial hold. It was an incredibly difficult decision, but one that we prayed over quite fervently.

This past Christmas, not long after I wrote of the sadness I still felt for halting the adoption, I believe I finally started to accept that God's timeline was not my own. Perhaps that was the step that I needed to take because shortly thereafter we felt God prodding us to start again.

During the time of our absence from the sphere of adoption, I watched from a distance as the wait times for a child from Vietnam got longer, the procedures got more complicated, and the future of adoption from Vietnam get somewhat uncertain. I also noticed that our adoption agency, All God's Children International (AGCI), launched a new relationship with the country of Ethiopia.

AGCI serves not only orphans in the adoption process, but also those who are left behind. One of the ways they do this is through the establishment of homes for orphaned children. They have had homes of this kind in several countries over the years, bringing services both to the children and to pregnant women in the countries they serve. The children are cared for by what they term Special Mothers, who give them consistant and personal care. It is from such a home that the children being adopted from Ethiopia through AGCI would come through.

Excited at the prospect of this new program, we sought God's guidance as to the possibility of switching countries. We were motivated also by the shorter wait times offered by the Ethiopia program. Were we to restart the Vietnam process (which we would have to do because so many of our forms would have expired) we would still be waiting over a year just to be assigned a child. It would be additional 6 to 9 months before we could travel to pick her up. To adopt a baby girl from Ethiopia, the wait would be about 6 months to be assigned a child and about 4 months until travel.

After lots of prayer and discussion, I am excited to say that we have indeed launched ourselves into the Ethiopia program. There are many things which have had to be redone and money to be redirected, but there are also many things which thankfully we have not had to redo. We are currently updating our homestudy -- with a home visit scheduled for next Saturday -- Yikes! After that, we'll spend the next month/month and a half completing our dossier. Once we submit our dossier and we are reapproved by Immigration, we will be FINALLY put on the waiting list for our baby girl!

The purpose of this blog is mostly to keep everyone updated regarding where we are in the process of the adoption. However, a significant portion of time in adopting a child is spent WAITING. So, I will probably be on here from time to time posting my thoughts and feelings about this whole crazy undertaking, prayer requests and reasons to be thankful, and no doubt a few complaints. (And I promise the posts won't always be as long as this one!)

The theme of my life lately, though, has been one of hope. I have hope that my God will carry our family through our journey with autism. And I have hope that He will bring home our little girl.